The variety of couples in the news who are separating or divorcing is a sober reminder that our intimate relationships are fragile and can break—and that they must be handled with proper care and maintenance. Many things can go wrong in a marriage. But there are things you can do—or stop doing—that directly relate to […]
Dear Neil: Help me with what I should do. I’m 29, and my wife of three years is unemployed and only occasionally interested in looking for work. In the meantime, I am needing to support both of us, pay the mortgage and pay for her health care and prescription drugs. That leaves me very little […]
One of the important decisions people make about a potential intimate partner is forced on us very early on in a budding relationship. It’s about deciding whether to give the other person a chance, and how much we are willing to open ourselves up to him/her. Most people have had the experience of saying “yes” […]
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. When you are squabbling with your intimate partner over petty, small, nitpicky things, could you describe with confidence the hidden, more subterranean issues that you are fighting about? Most people can’t. Most people have, at best, an extremely vague idea about what pushes their buttons, or […]
Dear Neil: My fiancé and I are in a 15 month relationship, and we’re planning on getting married 5 months from now. But before we marry, we need some help. First of all, you would think that we have been together long enough so that we would have worked out basic living agreements. But no, […]
Of the thousands of letters or emails I have received from readers of this column through the years, there have been certain themes or questions that have repeated themselves over and over again. Some people write of feeling unloved, unwanted or discarded in a relationship. Another group of readers write of feeling misused or poorly […]
Dear Neil: I grew up in a household with an emotionally unavailable father, and I courted “bad boys.” Even now, I find myself questioning the “good guy” I am now involved with. He’s emotionally available (which I sometimes find to be weak), and I’m constantly trying to play up his “macho” side. His sweet side […]
Dear Neil: I’m in a two-year long-distance relationship, and we got engaged four months ago. But my fiance has become detached, and may have cold feet. We set a date one year out for our wedding. Then he became very stressed (finishing his masters degree, work, finances, etc.). So he postponed the date, and wants […]
Dear Neil: I have a daughter with my on-and-off-again boyfriend of three years. On one of our off times, he got another girl pregnant, and I am struggling with that. I have tried to be supportive, but it is hard because I feel so betrayed. It is the cause of most of our fights, and […]
Dear Neil: I am a 36 year old single woman who has never married. I have dated literally hundreds of men from all walks of life—from professionals, to artists, to ski bums, to doctors and to performers—and a whole lot of other men who don’t neatly fit into an easy category. But every man I’ve […]