Dear Neil: I read your articles in a local newspaper. In my religion, pre-marital sex is not allowed. So how do I determine who to choose as the right person for me to marry? Wanting to Know in South Africa Dear South Africa: Here are some ways to evaluate who would be a suitable partner […]
Dear Neil: I have been in a two-year long-distance relationship with my boyfriend. We always talk, I love him very much, and it feels as if he loves me. He is very caring and has always been there for me when I have needed him. I’ve never met anyone else who really cares for me […]
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. Here are things to examine before you consider marriage: You must respect what your partner does for a living. This can be particularly challenging in today’s depressed economy when someone is more likely to accept any job they can find, even a menial one, and not […]
Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Dear Neil: I’m getting ready to pop the question, and wondered whether you have any guidelines about knowing whether someone would be a good choice for me. We are different in so many ways, but we enjoy many of the same things, we get along well, […]
If you are planning on being married, and would like to know your fiancee‚ better—or build more intimacy into your relationship—address the following questions with each other: What are some of your life’s dreams? How did your parents treat you when you were young? How well did you get along with your parents? Growing up, […]
Congratulations. I hear you’re engaged to be married, and you have come to me, a marriage therapist, and have asked what the two of you should do to prepare for marriage. So here’s my advise: Sit down with each other and address the following questions. Make sure both of you have an opportunity to address […]
Talking to Each Other So frequently do marriage therapists—including myself—hear couples complain that they don’t communicate well, that I thought I would offer an exercise for those couples who would like to improve the quality of communication in their relationship. These questions are taken from Bonnie Sose’s book “Talk to Me“. Name seven specific things […]
How Marriage Changes a Relationship “My husband and I have been married ten months. Prior to our marriage he was very active sexually with me,” writes a woman from Milwaukee. “On our honeymoon, my husband did not initiate sex once. He [has now] progressed to jerking away if I touch him and making comments such […]
John and Sherri were engaged to be married when they entered treatment for pre-marriage therapy. “Sometimes, I think I’m attracted to the idea of being married more than the idea of being married to John,” said Sherri. “We are very different people: we don’t see eye to eye, we seem to have different values, and […]