Dear Neil: I am recently divorced and back on the market looking for a woman to give my heart to. But after two divorces, I am wondering if there are any ways of evaluating someone before I get emotionally invested with her. Are there ways to tell whether two people will be compatible with each […]
Keeping Your Emotional Connection Strong
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. Failure to keep your emotional connection strong has a high likelihood of ruining your relationship. But connecting is not magic. Like any other skill, it can be learned, practiced and mastered. Mostly, this is matter of noticing and responding to your partner’s “bids” for connection—any expression […]
Defining The Conflicts in Your Relationship Part 2
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. What are the issues, conflicts or problems in your relationship? Underline all that apply: Unpleasant fights have occurred between us recently. There are more fights; fights seems to come out of nowhere; anger and irritability have crept into our relationship; we get into conflicts where we […]
What Are The Conflicts/Issues in Your Relationship? Part 1
Note: This is the first of a two-part series. What are the issues, conflicts or problems in your relationship? Take the following questionnaire to find out. Underline all that applies: We are becoming emotionally distant. We have difficulty just simply talking to each other; we are staying emotionally in touch with each other less; I […]
Getting Better Connected
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. If you would like to experiment with how to have a deeper connection with your intimate partner, try the following: Learning to regulate warm connected energy. Decide who will be Partner A and Partner B. Then both of you withdraw your energy and connection from each […]
Creating a Tighter Connection With Your Mate
Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Imagine a situation where you and your mate are sitting together and suddenly s/he says to you “Where have you gone? You’re not here.” You are not even aware that this has happened, but your partner is. Perhaps your partner said something that upset you, so […]
Quiz: Determine Your Level of Relationship Satisfaction
Take this quiz to determine how satisfied you are in your intimate relationship. For each of the 16 relationship traits listed below, rate each trait from the following two scales. SATISFACTION SCALE: How satisfied are you with each of these aspects of your relationship? 5: Enthusiastic—it couldn’t be any better 4: Quite satisfied 3: It’s […]
How Does a Couple Deepen The Intimacy and Commitment Between Them?
Dear Neil: I have lived with my boyfriend for 10 months. A couple of weeks ago he went out with a long-time female friend of his, and he didn’t get home until 3 a.m. on a Tuesday night. I questioned him about where he was, and he said “at a bar,” which I later found […]
Should I Stay Or Leave? (Part 3)
Note: This is the third of a three-part series. This is the conclusion of a series of questions designed to assist you in determining whether you should stay in or leave a relationship: Would you lose anything important in your life if your partner were no longer your partner? Is what you’d lose something that […]
Should I Stay Or Leave? (Part 2)
Note: This is the second of a three-part series. This is a continuation of a step-by-step guide to help you determine whether you should stay in or leave a relationship: Stepping back from any temporary anger or disappointment, do you genuinely like your partner, and does your partner seem to like you? If it’s clear […]