Dear Neil: I started dating someone about three weeks ago. His wife died four years ago after 22 years of marriage. For his daughter’s sake, he still has some photos around the house, the majority of which are unobtrusive. He does, however, have a rather large photo of himself with his wife and daughter over […]
Is there enough love and respect in your intimate relationship? Do you and your partner show each other empathy, support, care, affection, friendship, sympathy and love? How do you express such emotions, how is that expression received by your partner, and where could you improve in the ways that you express love and respect? Take […]
A Valentine’s Exercise Have you ever wondered how people deepen the intimacy and closeness in their relationships? Try this Valentine’s exercise, which will allow you to “interview” your intimate partner—and hopefully assist you in gaining a greater depth of understanding and closeness in your relationship. If you’d like to find out more information about any […]
Have you ever wondered how some people seem to effortlessly connect with others, even strangers, and are seemingly able to easily create closeness with people? Ever wondered why you have trouble doing the same thing? Perhaps you can do it after all. Connecting with others and establishing a shared feeling of mutual closeness consists of […]
Dear Neil: A few years ago, my husband of 22 years wanted sex and I didn’t, and he tried to physically force me to have sex. When that did not work, he pushed me out of bed. My father was a physically and verbally abusive man, and this may be part of the reason why […]
Dear Neil: My relationship with the man I’ve lived with for seven years can get very volatile at times, and tension can build uncomfortably high between us. There is a fair amount of distancing, withdrawal and irritability between us. But both of us are conflict avoiders, and neither of us is good at bringing tensions […]
Dear Neil: How does a man connect with a woman these days? I am failing miserably since my divorce. Alone in London, Ontario Dear Alone: Connecting with a new person […]
What are your needs in an intimate relationship? This is an exercise in self-discovery, adapted from Philip McGraw’s The Relationship Rescue Workbook (Hyperion). As you recognize and acknowledge your needs, you create a path toward getting those needs met. For every need that applies to you, put X on the line to the left of it. […]
Dear Neil: I am recently divorced and back on the market looking for a woman to give my heart to. But after two divorces, I am wondering if there are any ways of evaluating someone before I get emotionally invested with her. Are there ways to tell whether two people will be compatible with each […]
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. Failure to keep your emotional connection strong has a high likelihood of ruining your relationship. But connecting is not magic. Like any other skill, it can be learned, practiced and mastered. Mostly, this is matter of noticing and responding to your partner’s “bids” for connection—any expression […]