Dear Neil: I have dated a guy for 6 months. I’m 38; he’s 60.When we first got together, I told him I didn’t want my heart broken. He said: “I’m not the heartbreaking type. I’m usually on the other end of that.” He wanted to be exclusive early on, and suggested that we spend our […]
How to Ruin Your Relationship
The variety of couples in the news who are separating or divorcing is a sober reminder that our intimate relationships are fragile and can break—and that they must be handled with proper care and maintenance. Many things can go wrong in a marriage. But there are things you can do—or stop doing—that directly relate to […]
Is It OK To Pressure My Boyfriend Into Proposing?
Dear Neil: I have been in a two-year long-distance relationship with my boyfriend. We always talk, I love him very much, and it feels as if he loves me. He is very caring and has always been there for me when I have needed him. I’ve never met anyone else who really cares for me […]
You Get What You Permit in a Relationship
Dear Neil: Help me with what I should do. I’m 29, and my wife of three years is unemployed and only occasionally interested in looking for work. In the meantime, I am needing to support both of us, pay the mortgage and pay for her health care and prescription drugs. That leaves me very little […]
Is Your Partner the Right One?
Dear Neil: A few years ago, I read a column you wrote in the newspaper on how to decide if you’re in a relationship with the “right one,” and what questions to ponder when choosing a potential partner. Would you consider reprinting that article? Hopeful in New Zealand Dear Hopeful: I would be happy to […]
Who is Right For You? Traits You Want an Intimate Partner to Have
We all want variations of the same thing when we select someone to give ourselves to, to commit to, to marry or to live with. The problem, most people belatedly realize, is that no one is perfect, and that there are tradeoffs we are forced to accept no matter who we choose to be in […]
Defining Who is Right and Who is Wrong for You
One of the important decisions people make about a potential intimate partner is forced on us very early on in a budding relationship. It’s about deciding whether to give the other person a chance, and how much we are willing to open ourselves up to him/her. Most people have had the experience of saying “yes” […]
Discovering The Link to Your Hidden Issues
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. When you are squabbling with your intimate partner over petty, small, nitpicky things, could you describe with confidence the hidden, more subterranean issues that you are fighting about? Most people can’t. Most people have, at best, an extremely vague idea about what pushes their buttons, or […]
Love Isn’t Enough to Keep Your Relationship Solid
Dear Neil: My fiancé and I are in a 15 month relationship, and we’re planning on getting married 5 months from now. But before we marry, we need some help. First of all, you would think that we have been together long enough so that we would have worked out basic living agreements. But no, […]
Interpreting Signals
Dear Neil: I met a real nice man about six months ago. We have been out a few times and he calls me every day. We talk about a lot of things, but I don’t know much about him. He doesn’t live very far from me, but when I ask him to come over, he […]