Dear Neil: My partner (29) and I (28) have finally learned how to communicate and resolve our differences effectively. However, he has recently said that he isn’t sure if he ever wants to get married. He said that he’s concerned that if he doesn’t change his mind about marriage in the next few years, that […]
Is Your Partner the Right One?
Dear Neil: A few years ago, I read a column you wrote in the newspaper on how to decide if you’re in a relationship with the “right one,” and what questions to ponder when choosing a potential partner. Would you consider reprinting that article? Hopeful in New Zealand Dear Hopeful: I would be happy to […]
Who is Right For You? Traits You Want an Intimate Partner to Have
We all want variations of the same thing when we select someone to give ourselves to, to commit to, to marry or to live with. The problem, most people belatedly realize, is that no one is perfect, and that there are tradeoffs we are forced to accept no matter who we choose to be in […]
Interpreting Signals
Dear Neil: I met a real nice man about six months ago. We have been out a few times and he calls me every day. We talk about a lot of things, but I don’t know much about him. He doesn’t live very far from me, but when I ask him to come over, he […]
How To Tell When He’s Not That Into You
Dear Neil: I don’t know how to start, but I am ever so desperate. I have fallen in love with a man who is 30 (I am 20), and we have been on and off for the past 18 months. We are also long distance, because he is in Belgium and I live in London. […]
Are You Strong Enough to be My Man?
Dear Neil: I grew up in a household with an emotionally unavailable father, and I courted “bad boys.” Even now, I find myself questioning the “good guy” I am now involved with. He’s emotionally available (which I sometimes find to be weak), and I’m constantly trying to play up his “macho” side. His sweet side […]
Settling for “Mr. Good Enough”
Dear Neil: I am a 36 year old single woman who has never married. I have dated literally hundreds of men from all walks of life—from professionals, to artists, to ski bums, to doctors and to performers—and a whole lot of other men who don’t neatly fit into an easy category. But every man I’ve […]
How Do I Determine If Someone Has Problems With Intimacy?
Dear Neil: I have recently been involved with a 29 year old man. We got along really well. Although he doesn’t live in the same city as I do, he visited frequently, we talked on the phone every couple of days and we maintained something of a relationship over a couple of months. Suddenly, however, […]
What to Consider Before Getting Engaged
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. Here are things to examine before you consider marriage: You must respect what your partner does for a living. This can be particularly challenging in today’s depressed economy when someone is more likely to accept any job they can find, even a menial one, and not […]
Things To Know Before You Get Engaged
Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Dear Neil: I’m getting ready to pop the question, and wondered whether you have any guidelines about knowing whether someone would be a good choice for me. We are different in so many ways, but we enjoy many of the same things, we get along well, […]