The Only Connection Skill You Are Likely to Need Dear Neil: Can you help me repair my relationship? The lady in my life and I have lost the ability to be close with each other. Here’s how a typical conversation between us goes: Me: “How was your day?” Her: “I’m annoyed. I feel like I’m […]
Imagine the following: You are running late to meet a friend for lunch. Because you are in a hurry, you find yourself speeding down an icy road. A police car spots you, pulls you over and tickets you for speeding. You curse your bad luck. When the police officer finally lets you go, you pass […]
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. Click here for part one This Valentine’s week, perhaps it is time to concentrate on how to strengthen the connection and improve the intimacy in your relationship. How well connected are you with your intimate partner? Answer the following questions, taken from Pat Love’s book The Truth […]
Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Click here for part two We all know that it feels more intimate to be connected to the person (or people) we care about and love. Much less understood is how a couple who starts out with lots of love, erotic energy and hope—lose their close […]
Have you ever wondered how some people seem to effortlessly connect with others, even strangers, and are seemingly able to easily create closeness with people? Ever wondered why you have trouble doing the same thing? Perhaps you can do it after all. Connecting with others and establishing a shared feeling of mutual closeness consists of […]
Dear Neil: How does a man connect with a woman these days? I am failing miserably since my divorce. Alone in London, Ontario Dear Alone: Connecting with a new person […]
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. Failure to keep your emotional connection strong has a high likelihood of ruining your relationship. But connecting is not magic. Like any other skill, it can be learned, practiced and mastered. Mostly, this is matter of noticing and responding to your partner’s “bids” for connection—any expression […]
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. If you would like to experiment with how to have a deeper connection with your intimate partner, try the following: Learning to regulate warm connected energy. Decide who will be Partner A and Partner B. Then both of you withdraw your energy and connection from each […]
Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Imagine a situation where you and your mate are sitting together and suddenly s/he says to you “Where have you gone? You’re not here.” You are not even aware that this has happened, but your partner is. Perhaps your partner said something that upset you, so […]
Adding Zing to Your Relationship Jerry D. of Arvada writes, “After twenty plus years, (my wife and I) still love each other a lot, but our relationship has been on a plateau for several years. We both would like to add some excitement and new dimensions to our marriage that might revitalize our intimacy. Do […]