Dear Neil: My boyfriend/life partner (whom I’ve lived with for 6 years) has had it with my “inappropriate tears.” I tend to cry easily, but my partner thinks that this needs to be fixed. If he doesn’t see a valid reason for my tears, he accuses me of being manipulative or childish. What is your […]
Dear Neil: Could you address how to rebuild trust after an affair? Reader From New Zealand Dear New Zealand: What we actually mean when we say “I need to be able to trust you again” is really “I need to feel safe around you again.” So rebuilding trust is akin to restoring the feeling that […]
Dear Neil: I’ve been going out with my boyfriend for 6 months. He is everything I want in a man, but I keep pushing him away. I’m wondering if it’s because of my past. I was physically and sexually abused as a child, and my ex was a bully who was controlling and violent, and […]
Dear Neil: My wife is beyond obsessed with her iPhone. It is 24/7 with Facebook, video games and messaging apps, and she clearly prefers her phone to spending time with me and the kids. I assume she is downstairs with the kids, but when I go downstairs the kids are getting into all sorts of […]
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. Click here for part one Do you have a pattern of choosing an emotionally unavailable intimate partner—a person exceedingly difficult to get close to, someone who is emotionally protected, insulated or standoffish—while rejecting the people who are available, caring, responsive and who are easy to be […]
Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Click here for part two Dear Neil: Recently I ended a promising relationship with a man. He was solicitous of me: What did I want? How was I feeling? No man has ever been so attentive to my feelings or wishes, and it made me uneasy. […]
Dear Neil: I’m completely lost about a 10 year relationship. We started dating when I was 28 (at the time he was 37 and working as a surgeon). A month later, he wanted me to move in with him. But one day, when I surprised him with a visit, I learned he had another woman […]
Dear Neil: I have been in an on-again/off-again relationship with a man for over 5 years. He’s asked me to marry him 3 times. We have a beautiful son together. The issue is that when we have disagreements, he goes off and finds himself another girl. But at the family Christmas dinner he told me […]
Dear Neil: My husband and I have been married for five years, and we are in an intimacy rut. We don’t have children, we both work, cuddle at night before falling asleep, and we have plenty of alone time. I’ve tried to put the moves on him, but often get denied with “I’m tired” or […]
Dear Neil: My boyfriend and I are now in our fifth year. Ever since we started our relationship, we have been very attached. We were always together or constantly texting each other. I’m 24 and he’s 26. Two years ago, I cheated on him and he found out. Yet he still accepted me, and he’s made […]