Being Chaste and Married is No Fun Dear Neil: My husband and I haven’t had sex for six years now. We have been married for twenty two years, and he began to lose interest in sex two or three years after we got married. I am an attractive women and being rejected sexually has been […]
Overcoming Emotional Distance
Being More Emotionally Open and Available Dear Neil: I would appreciate very much if you would offer some recommendations on how I could overcome being emotionally distant. Distant in Oceanside, California Dear Distant: Here are several ideas: Examine your feelings about not feeling worthy of a close relationship; your fears that if your partner really gets […]
Betrayal and Integrity: Surviving The Lost of Trust
Dear Neil: I’ve been married for just about a year. Through that year, my husband has had an affair. He has denied the entire thing, but there is just too much evidence. In a two year span, I have gone through a divorce (married twelve years), met my current husband, got pregnant by him, and […]
Disconnected and Detached
Do people accuse you of being cold or withdrawn? Are you detached from your relationships? When you are disconnected and detached from other people: Your work is your reason for living. It’s what really counts in your life. All of your spare time goes into projects related to your work, or your other interests and […]
Unequal Intimate Relationships are Difficult to Feel Good About
“What would you recommend I do about a girlfriend I live with who has stopped contributing to our relationship, and is no longer making any effort?” writes Paul P. from San Francisco. “Although she seems to be functioning normally at work and socially, the past two years she has progressively quit pulling her share of […]
Better Than Nothing Relationships
Dear Neil: Since my divorce three years ago, I have been involved in several relationships that have never gotten off the ground. One of these relationships was with a women I didn’t find very attractive, and I never developed much interest in being with her. We broke up after four months, and I never really […]
Overfunctioning/Underfunctioning Relationships
Are you a well functioning and responsible person living with someone who is barely functional and irresponsible? Are you someone who does too much, married to someone who does too little? If so, you may be in an “overfunctioning/underfunctioning” relationship. Roberta Gilbert, in the book Extraordinary Relationships defines a person as overfunctioning when they’re doing things […]
Back and Forth Relationships
The Leave/Come Back/Leave Relationship Last year things began to change drastically in my three-and-a-half-year relationship. We had made plans to get married when suddenly he stopped treating me with the respect he always had, he was angry, blamed me for things, told me he needed time to himself to sort things out, rented a place […]
Turn Ons
When You’re Not in the Mood How do you handle it when you are in a committed, monogamous relationship, and you want sex more frequently than your mate does? Let’s say you’ve tried everything in order to help your mate increase his/her libido: endearments, a lot of nurturing and tender loving care, plenty of affection […]
Wanting More
Different Sexual Appetites “I want a good relationship with my wife, but she sexually rejects me so frequently that it stops me from having a good relationship with her,” writes Kenneth S., from Dallas. “So often she’s tired, not in the mood, has a headache, or is otherwise unavailable for sex. I want sex two […]