Dear Neil: What is it that blocks me from having sex with my husband of twenty-four years? Probably anger—at the years of belittling, unkind verbal responses, lack of empathy, lack of interest in my concerns, long periods of unresponsive silence, disregard for my personhood, outbursts of inappropriate anger, repeated acts of aggression and hatred. The […]
Withholding Sex as a Weapon
Differing sexual appetites is often the nature of romance and marriage. But if your mate is angry with you, or if he/she wants to fight, distance or control you, then withholding sex may be the most powerful way to get your attention. Withholding sex—or using sex as a weapon—is used in many intimate relationships to […]
Wife not enjoying sex…
Dear Neil: The frequency of sex is the major problem in our thirty year marriage. My wife has always had problems with her enjoyment of sex, despite long-term and determined efforts on my part to please her. I have tried music, presents, clothes, gifts, flowers, planning holidays, praise, acceptance, viewing sexy videos together, reading books, […]
How Frequently Do Women Have Sex in Order to Please Men?
That question brought responses from women around the world. Listen to the various ways women view the subject and justify their feelings. “I don’t think anyone should ever have to have sex in order please their partner,” says K.A.P., Amarillo, Texas. “I had sex in order to please my husband most of the time. But […]
Why Are Good Men Reluctant to Remarry?
Dear Neil: I’m a 40-something religious woman with a strong, rural upbringing. The friendship I have with one man is a wonderful thing for both of us, but I want more than that with him. He doubts he’ll ever get married again. But he is such a compassionate, caring and understanding person that it seems […]
Making Love When You Don’t Feel Like It
Dear Neil: Would you write about the dilemma of having sex when you don’t feel like it? I am in a relationship where my boyfriend has a much higher sexual appetite than I do. Since he gets upset and angry if we don’t make love, I find myself giving in and having more sex with […]
Sitting on the Fence Just Keeps You Stuck
Dear Neil: I am in a four year relationship with a woman I live with, but have been unwilling to commit to. She isn’t the kind of person I thought I’d permanently wind up with. She isn’t a college educated professional. She doesn’t communicate well, and she is extremely emotional. But she is caring, sensitive […]
Being Safe at the Expense of Being Happy
Dear Neil: Eight years ago I walked out on a very special man: my lover, best friend, protector and provider. It seemed the perfect relationship. Only now do I realize that he loved me unconditionally. Walking through Hyde Park, my reasons for leaving hit me in the face: I was so scared that one day […]
Don’t Settle For Poor Treatment From Husband
Escalating The Emotions in Your Marriage Dear Neil: My husband thinks that once every month or two is often enough for sex. He told me he was “getting older” (mid-40’s) and that it was normal for a man to lose interest at that age. I found out quite by accident that he hasn’t lost interest, […]
Problems Men Have With Women
A Primer for Women Money, poor communication, children, infidelity, control and sexual incompatibility are the top issues that cause men the most conflict and turmoil in their intimate relationships with women. The men around the world who read this column, and who have written in have talked about their relationships with women. This is what […]