Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Do you often find your intimate partner to be too busy to be emotionally available to you? Do you have trouble getting him/her to really listen to you? To open up to you? To trust you? To share his/her true feelings with you? Do you get […]
Restoring Trust After a Betrayal
Dear Neil: When one partner has had an affair and betrayed the trust in a relationship, how can this trust be restored? Hurting in Wellington, New Zealand Dear Hurting: Although people often say “Forgive and forget,” I have found that is impossible to do. You are not going to forget. You can forgive another person’s […]
Telltale Signs of Infidelity
Dear Neil: I strongly sense my husband is having an affair. For the past five years he has not been intimate with me, saying he has no sexual desire. But now out of the blue his sexual desire has returned. My gut says he’s been unfaithful, but I need to know definitely. Some years ago […]
“Rules” For Women
Dear Neil: Since reading your column concerning rules for male partners that appeared in print awhile back, I would like to know if you could print a set of rules for female partners? HopefulJakarta, Indonesia Dear Hopeful: Actually the list of rules is almost the same for women and for men. But since I have […]
Why Are You Trying to Control Me?
Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Dear Neil: Why would my boyfriend feel the need to control me? I am faithful and have never strayed, but am still not trusted. I am asked to explain who I talk to, and what we talk about. I am criticized a lot, and my mistakes […]
Breaking A Power Struggle
Giving Your Partner What S/he Most Wants Eric and Candy, who have been together two years, are not getting along. Candy says she needs more emotional support and sensitivity. Eric wants a more willing and nurturing lover. Neither of them feels that their needs are being met by the other, and both of them are […]
A Man’s Work Helps to Define His Worth
But He Needs to be Careful to Not Overdo It Note: This is the third of a three-part series. More often than not, work defines a man’s worth to himself and to the world. To work means you’re a man, and frequently a man’s work is his pride. Work gives meaning to men’s lives. If […]
“Real Men” Can Be Hard To Relate To
EDITOR’S NOTE: THIS IS THE SECOND OF A THREE-PART SERIES The way men love and what they need in a relationship are different and often the opposite of what women need. Because of their conditioning, many men have learned to suppress and deny their vulnerability and personal needs in order to perform, compete, achieve and […]
Why Men Are The Way They Are
EDITOR’S NOTE: THIS IS FIRST OF A THREE-PART SERIES. Does this man sound familiar? “John” is educated, affluent and successful. He is admired by his co-workers and has a stringent work ethic. He works well over 40 hours a week and frequently works on weekends. His wife is angry with him and often feels lonely […]
Resolving Your Anger
Dear Neil: Could you address the subject of anger? I have been angry at my wife for years, but I’m having a hard time figuring out why I get as angry as I do at her. Even small things I can escalate into major offenses, and I am angry often at her. But I also […]