Note: This is the second of a two-part series. Think about the many moments in a relationship when your partner lets down his or her guard and exposes a soft spot. Perhaps it is when he is scrutinizing his bald spot in the mirror and looking forlorn. Perhaps it is when she has removed her […]
Misuse of Power Threatens Marriage
Dear Neil: My wife of ten years makes twice as much money as I do. As a result, she has taken it upon herself to make all the important decisions concerning how the house will be furnished, decorated and landscaped without me, even though she knows I am want my taste and style to count […]
Spiritual Intimacy Requires a Deep Connection
Dear Neil: Would you discuss the question of spiritual intimacy. What is it? How do you attain it? Why don’t more people have it? We are two friends with a bet. One of us says that, although rare, it’s attainable. The other says it doesn’t exist. Your answer will decide who buys dinner. QuestioningLongmont, Colorado […]
Self-Sabotage Undermines Your Belief in Yourself
Dear Neil: I have a pattern of choosing men who are unavailable, already in a relationship, married to their jobs or just out for a good time. The ones that are available, who treat me well, who offer me hope—I find inadequate, and I eventually dump them. Why am I doing this? I would like […]
Women’s Loss of Libido May Have a Cure
Dear Neil: My wife and I have been married for almost 30 years. (We are in our mid-fifties). For the last two or three years, I have noticed that she has gradually lost interest in sexual intimacy. I’m attracted to her and would love to see her back to her good old days, where as […]
Why Do All Our Trips Get Ruined?
Dear Neil: Can you help me figure out why my girlfriend and I seem to fight a lot when we’re on holiday? We schedule time off, plan the holiday together, talk about it and look forward to it. But when we’re actually on the trip, she gets seriously touchy, reactive, jealous, critical, judgmental, impatient with […]
You Can’t Have a Good Relationship Alone
Dear Neil: I have loved a man like no other. But I didn’t listen to my gut as he became the Silent Dark Shadow, and I stayed, hoping for it to get better. We had a lovely son together, but when I realized how lonely I was—that it has always been me wanting us to […]
Drama Queens Are Demanding and Intense
Dear Neil: I feel like I am living in a soap opera. My girlfriend and I have lived together for the past six months. In that period of time, she has gotten pregnant, aborted, lost her job (she was accused of dressing inappropriately), threatened suicide, left me, came back, got in a car wreck and […]
How Do I Let The Past Go?
Dear Neil: About four years ago I was working out of town. Over the two weeks I was away, my wife had a brief romantic fling. Except she lied about it, telling me they were only friends. However, the younger kids told me of a night when Mommy wasn’t home at 1:45 a.m, and they […]
Sabotaging the Relationship You Want
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. Do you have a pattern of choosing an emotionally unavailable intimate partner—a person exceedingly difficult to get or stay close to, whose heart is very protected, insulated or standoffish—while rejecting the person who is available, heartful, caring, responsive and who is easy to be close to? […]