Note: this is the second of a three-part series. Why is it that some people block themselves from giving and receiving love? Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt explain the process in the book Receiving Love (Atria, 2004) : When we are born, openness and receptivity are our natural state. When a caretaker does not properly […]
Quiz: How Comfortable Are You in Receiving Love?
Note: This is the first of a three-part series. Below are questions designed to help you discover how comfortable you are in receiving love. Rank each item with S for “sometimes,” O for “often,” or R for “rarely” or N for “never.” ___ Do you feel uncomfortable when somebody brags about you? ___ Do you […]
Controlling Partner Must Be Confronted
Dear Neil: I am living with a wonderful man who is 16 years older than me, and I can safely say “he’s the one.” My son recently got his driver’s license and, with my permission, uses my car from time to time. He often does jobs for me in exchange for the use of the […]
Verbally Abusive Husband
Needs Stong Wife Who Forces Change Dear Neil: My husband of three years was verbally abusive. I sugar-coated things, instead of telling him what I was feeling, because I was afraid he would yell and curse at me. I got sick of telling him to calm down and stop yelling, so I left him. After […]
What Gives Us Power Also Makes Us Feel Powerless
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. The irony of power is that both genders see themselves as powerless in exactly the area in which the other gender sees them as powerful. A woman sees the inadequacy of her breasts next to “ideal” breasts. Advertisements bombarding her with the ideal weight, derriere, hair […]
Where Are All The Good Men?
Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Dear Neil: I am an attractive, successful, affluent woman in my forties, and I am having a hard time finding men who I might consider marrying. Why is there such a Great Man Shortage? Where are all the good men? Puzzled in Estes Park, Colorado Dear […]
Why Am I Afraid of Marrying the Man I Love?
Dear Neil: I am 28 years-old, and my two-year relationship with my boyfriend is the first serious relationship I have been in. Our first six months together were amazing and totally blissful. I was the first to say “I love you.” After six months, I got extremely anxious and scared because I didn’t know how […]
Inability to Trust Leads to Failed Relationships
Note: this is the second of a two-part series. If you grew up in an environment where you were made to feel inadequate, insecure and afraid to trust, you likely have a difficult time in adulthood with your ability to love and to be loved. You will, more than likely, develop a fear of being […]
“I’m Very Independent” Often Relates to Low Trust
Note: this is the first of a two-part series. Dear Neil: What does it mean when my girlfriend says she is very independent, fears being controlled and doesn’t trust easily? Isn’t the idea of being in an adult relationship for both people to trust, rely on and depend on each other? Feeling Pushed Away in Westminster, Colorado […]
How Can I Recapture a Woman After I Jilted Her?
Dear Neil: I have recently ended an 11 month relationship. I thought I didn’t love her, yet now I have the overwhelming urge to have her back in my life. I realize that I was blocking out love, and that I had never tried to open my heart to her. She took the breakup quite […]