Dear Neil: My boyfriend of seven months said when we met said he was a doctor. My mother decided to see on-line where he went to school. She never found him. So she did a background report to make sure I was safe, and lo and behold, there was no information on his job, but […]
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. Click here for part one If you’re wise, you’ll view your intimate relationships—and your partner—as your teacher. Your relationships have essential lessons to teach you, and you must learn them if you are to have a happy life: Happiness in a relationship is not just a […]
Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Click here for part two Here are some of the things our intimate relationships—and our intimate partners—teach us: In an intimate relationship, our ability to be close, trusting and connected is what life is all about. If you lose a relationship, you must—you absolutely must—learn how […]
Dear Neil: I’m in a one year relationship with a man. We seem to have a real genuine bond and friendship, and we communicate well and talk all the time. Basically we have what I would consider a “perfect relationship,” except for one thing. I feel he is holding back from me. I am scared […]
Imagine drawing three circles on a paper entitled “My Relationship” or “My Previous Relationships.” The three circles represent how much of the relationship consists of “me” (my needs, wants, desires, moods, demands, etc.) “you” (your moods, wishes, dreams, demands, needs, etc.) and “us” (what serves our relationship, our commitment, our future, our connection.) How much […]
Dear Neil: Five years ago, when husband’s ADHD/bi-polar son started acting out, I was so exhausted after working all day and then dealing with his son that I had no desire for lovemaking. After about a year and a half without intimacy, one night was all it took and I became pregnant. The pregnancy lasted […]
Dear Neil: I’ve been in an on-and-off again relationship with a man I have two children with. I love him dearly and I want to be with him. But he wants to leave in order to determine what he really wants from our relationship and how he feels about me. He’s having a hard time […]
Dear Neil: I told a male friend I had sexual fantasies about him. At the time, he was living with a woman. I persuaded myself that if a man is a partner/boyfriend with a woman and not her fiancé or husband, he is actually available. I figured that if a couple isn’t married within two […]
Dear Neil: What causes some people to cheat multiple times with multiple partners, or to cheat habitually? Can a person who habitually cheats also love his/her spouse? Infidelity changes a person into someone who is deceitful, foolish, cold and calculated. What is that person’s point of view? How do I overcome these feelings that have […]
Dear Neil: My boyfriend (Type A personality) and I (Type B) are on the brink of calling it quits after an 8 month long-distance relationship. Up until about 10 days ago, everything was wonderful. Truly wonderful. We had begun discussing marriage and we were both sure that we’d found “the one.” But after finding out […]