Dear Neil: Me and my ex-girlfriend have been in an on and off again relationship for the last eight years. We had a child about a year after we met. She also had an on and off relationship with a boyfriend before (and during her relationship with) me. When I was getting ready to propose […]
Dear Neil: I am a 68 year-young woman, married for one year after being widowed for many years. We are very active sexually, but the only issue we have is that my husband can’t reach orgasm. The desire and excitement is present, but the body seems unwilling to cooperate. He is 70. He seems blocked […]
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. What’s the worst thing anyone could say aokut you? Of the myriad of potential answers you might come up with, let’s say that your spouse or lover says that you’re insecure. Instead of getting angry or defensive, let’s say you were open to exploring whether the […]
booNote: This is the first of a two part series. A child is happily absorbed in the playground. All of sudden, she surprises herself by perfectly executing a back flip. Kids around her, whom she’d hardly noticed, are gathering around her, clapping. She repeats the flip to see if they’ll clap again. The girl isn’t […]
Dear Neil: I am crazy in love with a wonderful man—a widower. His late wife passed away eight years ago after 23 years of marriage. We have been engaged for over a year now. He has two grown sons, has another two sons (ages 10 and 12) at home and a special needs son that […]
Dear Neil: I understand that being in a relationship often involves doing things for the other person that you may not particularly like. Examples are things like dishes that someone else dirties, giving a massage when you’re tired, spending Christmas with the mother-in-law, etc. I also understand that this extends to sex, even if you’re […]
Dear Neil: I am a 38 year-old married mother of two, and I have an issue with the total loss of my sexual desire. We have a good marriage. I love my husband dearly and I am very attracted to him. I don’t know what is wrong with me. I have no desire to have […]
Are you defensive? Have people told you that you respond defensively when feedback, criticism, suggestions or requests are made of you? Have you noticed that you have a tendency of never wanting to admit that you’re wrong—even when you could be? Byron Katie, in her book I Need Your Love—Is That True? (Three Rivers Press) […]
Did you know that close to 90% of all human communication comes from the (usually unconscious) intent to control? So says Susan Campbell in the book Saying What’s Real (H. J. Kramer). She says the intent to control reveals itself in many disguises: Denying that you feel pain when you’re hurting. Trying to impress others. […]
Here is a list of seven deadly relationship sins: Being too detached, withdrawn, removed, guarded or disengaged. Not talking or revealing your feelings. Not asking about your partner’s feelings—or not taking an interest in those feelings once they are shared. Not making your relationship a top priority. Not going all out and giving your very […]