Dear Neil: We have been fighting about money issues for years. We argued about money when we were doing very well, and we’re fighting about money now, when we’re not. We disagree on how money is to be spent, what our financial priorities are, how to handle it when we disagree about a purchase and […]
Dear Neil: My wife of 25 years and I are both in our late fifties. We once had great emotional and physical intimacy, but now her desire for sex is non-existent. She constantly repels my advances—to such a degree that we now sleep in separate bedrooms. I find myself getting short-tempered, irritable and grumpy, which […]
Dear Neil: My partner of 14 years and I have recently separated—the catalyst being my discovery of her third affair in the last 8 years. In telling her how damaging her affairs have been to me—feelings of betrayal, hurt, anxiety and humiliation—I said an affair is about the most damaging thing you can do in […]
Dear Neil: I am a 69 year old successful, affluent business woman. My boyfriend of ten years is 55, and much less successful and affluent. He has twin daughters, age 21, who he dotes over and will do anything for. But they don’t want their father to have a girlfriend. He lives in my house […]
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. Click here for part one If you are codependent, you likely grew up with or had prolonged exposure to a set of oppressive rules which prevented the open expression of feelings, and which taught you to be conflict avoidant. You very likely are a caretaker, you’re […]
Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Click here for part two Dear Neil: Recently you wrote about co-dependency. For years I have thought of myself as co-dependent, but have been unable to change it. Could you review what co-dependency is—and offer ideas of what I can do about it? Interested in Changing […]
Dear Neil: I am in an abusive relationship with my husband. Recently he was taken to jail for domestic violence. He claimed he never touched me, and that I inflicted the bruises on myself. This finally pushed me to leave, but during that separation we started counseling. I have since returned home, and things for […]
Dear Neil: I’m confused. I get mixed signals from single women I’ve dated about what they want a man to be, and about what they expect from a man in an intimate relationship. Most women clearly want a man to be financially stable and affluent—in essence to pay for everything, and to offer the long […]
Dear Neil: My relationship with my boyfriend of almost two years has been wonderful. We moved to Colorado from the East Coast, and he started a new job and went back to school, both about three weeks ago. Since then, everything has changed. He went from being a sweet loving and compassionate person, to someone […]
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. Click here for part one This is a continuation of the soul-searching questions about how committed you are to your intimate partner or spouse: Do the two of you make joint decisions on major matters? Do you keep each other informed? Can your partner depend on […]