Dear Nell: My husband tells me that his sexual drives are so hot-wired that he doesn’t know if he can have sex with only one woman. He suggested we have an open relationship – and I agreed – but seeing him intimate with this other woman took away all that I thought was special about […]
Dear Neil: Over the years, my husband has gotten increasingly negative and grumpy, and I am finding it harder to cope with him. I get no positive comments, and he tends to say something negative about everything. As a self-protection, I have begun to harden myself when he comes home; and I snap at him. […]
Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Click here for part two Answer true (T) or false (F) to the following statements: T F 1. I believe most people can be trusted. 2. I find it easy to trust those close to me. 3. The people I have loved the most have been […]
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. Click here for part one Have you had difficulty trusting important people in your life? More to the point, are you wanting to trust people more than you do? Trust your intimate partner more? If so, complete the following sentences as thoroughly as you can, courtesy […]
Repeating The Familiar “Why am I attracted to emotionally unavailable men?”, asks Sandra P. from Christchurch, New Zealand. “Time after time, I get involved with men who are emotionally withdrawn and distant, or physically remote, or married, or workaholic, and do not want to be close to me, except sexually. These men do not want […]
What You Can Do About a Troubled Loved One Note: This is the second of a two-part series. Is there a troubled adult who you are close to? I’m referring to someone who is manipulative, needy, dishonest or abusive. Or perhaps you love someone who is addicted to a substance, or someone who is out […]
Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Do you know someone who is hard to love? Someone you care about who is extremely irresponsible, hateful, dishonest, criminal, substance addicted, out of control, who takes unfair advantage of other people or who has overwhelming long-term problems that make it difficult for him/her to handle […]
Dear Neil: Given that you are a marriage and family therapist, I am surprised that you seem to know so little about post-menopausal women. Western post-menopausal women—due to stressful lives, bad diet and lack of exercise—end up with endocrine degeneration, which in turn leads to a significant loss of sexual urge. Foreplay doesn’t work, and […]
Note: This is the first of a two-part series. What sets you off? Are there predictable landmines that trigger fights, arguments or angry outbursts—in your intimate relationship, with your children or with other close people to you? Here are a list of hot-button issues and emotional triggers, many of which come from Ellen Wachtel in […]
Dear Neil: My boyfriend confuses me. He can get very sharp with me: critical, judgment and easy to anger when offended. At times, he gets irritated and very critical at what feels to me like minor infractions, and he can get quite verbally hard on me for making even a small mistake. So why does […]