Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Dear Neil: Am I doing something wrong, or are men just needy and selfish? Among the many things I have done for my boyfriend, here are a few: choosing his clothes for him when we’re together, and laying them out on his bed in the morning; […]
Dear Neil: I grew up believing I had to be strong. I had a difficult childhood and grew up really fast. I never received the nurturance I needed, but I often took care of other family members. I believed I was very strong, but now I realize I am very guarded. I survived my childhood […]
Are you controlling? Have control/power issues been a big part of your history—either with you feeling controlled by others or by others accusing you of being controlling? You may not realize that your need for power is why previous intimate partner’s have left you in the past—or why one is resisting you in the present. […]
Intentionally or not, might you employ sabotaging behaviors in your intimate relationships? Take this quiz to find out. Rate your answers on a scale from 1 to 5, in which 1 = never; 2 = sometimes; 3 = half the time; 4 = often, and 5 = always. This quiz is courtesy of Randi Gunther […]
Dear Neil: I have been disloyal to the man I care about, and am finding it difficult to know how to regain his trust. I had reached an emotionally low ebb, and unloaded my frustrations and disenchantments to a business partner of his. I accused him of being a narcissist, untruthful, incapable of loving and […]
Psychotherapists who work with depressed and angry people encounter the same emotions and self-images in nearly all of their clients – and most of those emotions can be traced to the messages that kids are given about themselves in childhood. It is clear that depressed and angry people have not just gone through a disappointing […]
What attitudes have you adopted that give YOU justification for losing your temper? Here are some examples: “I know I am right, so I am entitled to demand that others shut up, listen to me and do what I say.” “I’ve had to deal with a lot of BS at work today, so people had […]
Dear Neil: I am concerned about your generalizations that it takes two people to ruin a relationship. I have recently managed to escape a 25-year abusive relationship. One of the things I have learned is that it takes two to make a relationship but that one person alone can destroy it – by being emotionally […]
Dear Neil: As a longtime reader of your column, I’m curious as to what you have to say about the recent separation of former U.S. Vice President Al Gore to his wife, Tipper – after 40 years of marriage and after having raised four children together. What is your take on longtime marriages splitting apart? […]
Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Click here for part two Is jealousy a sign of love? Does it induce commitment? Does it teach people to not take their relationship for granted? If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, you’re in good company, because various researchers and marriage counselors have come […]