Dear Neil: I’m desperate to salvage my relationship. We’ve been in an on again/off again relationship for the last 6 years. We have three children, and one on the way. We both have full time jobs. While I tend to the children, cook dinner, clean, do laundry, help with homework—his job takes priority over everything, […]
Dear Neil: I believe the key to running away from someone you want is interesting. I grew up in an abusive home. My mom called the police, and my dad had to move out. I asked my dad if I could go too, but he said no. It felt normal for me to witness and […]
Dear Neil: My boyfriend rarely calls or contacts me, rarely invites me to get together, and seldom is romantic. He is preoccupied with his work, and because of that we seldom actually see each other. I want him to be my soul mate, but I’m not feeling special, valued or important to him, and I […]
The Allure of “Unpredictable Love” Of the thousands of letters and emails I get from readers around the world asking for relationship advice, the most frequent center around someone in a relationship pushing away or running hot and cold. Here are a few examples: My boyfriend and I have been together for a year. After […]
Dear Neil: In my current five-year relationship, my lady has run away and come back to me numerous times, and she has had an affair on me as well. Sometimes when she runs away, I hear nothing for a few weeks. It appears she could care less about the pain all of this causes me—being […]
Dear Neil: I’ve been going out with my boyfriend for 6 months. He is everything I want in a man, but I keep pushing him away. I’m wondering if it’s because of my past. I was physically and sexually abused as a child, and my ex was a bully who was controlling and violent, and […]
Dear Neil: A while back I grew close to a guy who was in a 10-year relationship with someone else. He always told me to be open to meeting someone else. So I met someone else. But things were complicated from the beginning, because he wants to become a catholic priest. He enjoys my company […]
Dear Neil: I grew up believing I had to be strong. I had a difficult childhood and grew up really fast. I never received the nurturance I needed, but I often took care of other family members. I believed I was very strong, but now I realize I am very guarded. I survived my childhood […]
Repeating The Familiar “Why am I attracted to emotionally unavailable men?”, asks Sandra P. from Christchurch, New Zealand. “Time after time, I get involved with men who are emotionally withdrawn and distant, or physically remote, or married, or workaholic, and do not want to be close to me, except sexually. These men do not want […]
Feeling a bit disengaged or withdrawn in your relationship recently? Don’t feel badly. Most people do. Everyone—no matter how close or intimate, and no matter how much you may love each other—sometimes feels disconnected from the people they love and are devoted to. Let’s face it: living with someone—or being around someone a lot—can really […]