Answer the following questions True (T) or False (F): When we argue or fight, I don’t just talk, I also listen to my partner’s side of the story (T/F) When we argue, I will stay on the subject and I don’t tend to bring other issues up (T/F) In a fight or disagreement, I tend […]
Dear Neil: Is there a way to measure how resilient a person is? My girlfriend walked out on me the same week I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. I’m handling things okay, but it got me to wondering if being resilient is something I could cultivate or develop. Any ideas? Holding On In San Francisco […]
If you were to give yourself a grade for how effective, how responsive and how loving you behave in your relationship, what would that grade be? Better yet, break the above question down into smaller segments. On an A B C D F scale, using (+) or (–) to more fully adjust your grade, what […]
Note: This is first of a three-part series. Dear Neil: I am a 43-year-old educated, attractive and professional woman who has never been married. I have left most of the men I have been involved with through the years. Is there a way to tell if I am afraid of commitment? Anxious In Portland Dear […]
How much do you really know about sex? Sure, you know the basics about the birds and the bees, but how savvy are you about all the rest of the stuff that goes on between the sheets? Answer these questions, taken from Pepper Schwartz’s The Lifetime Love and Sex Quiz Book—and see how much you […]
How jealous a person are you? Is jealousy a problem in your relationship? How often has jealousy been a problem in your previous relationships? Take this quiz to see how affected you are by jealous feelings. On a scale from 1 (no jealousy/no) to 7 (extreme jealousy/yes), figure out which number best fits how you […]
Are you depressed? Depression does not necessarily mean you’re just sad. You might be more numb—not feeling much of anything—than sad. But some people are in deed sad, withdrawn from others as well as from themselves, and withdrawn from most of the activities that used to bring them pleasure and enjoyment. Take this quiz, adapted […]
You remember the tales, don’t you? About the knight in white armor rescuing the damsel in distress and carrying her off into the sunset. Are you a male (or a female) white knight? That is, do you have a pattern of rescuing intimate partners? Take this quiz to find out. Decide whether the following statements […]
Many of us have been lied to by someone we love and trust. Although there are differences in lies—some people exaggerate the truth, other people leave important information out, still other people rationalize or excuse their own misrepresentations—the end result is often broken trust. And trust turns out to be a cornerstone for virtually all […]
By far the most common complaint marriage counselors hear is the statement: “We can’t communicate.” There are many reasons why communication stops or becomes superficial and brittle, including poor conflict resolution, problem solving, compromising and negotiating skills; withholding information; keeping secrets from each other and becoming defensive—to name a few. But one of the most […]