Dear Neil: I gave up a man I love, and still love deeply, for all the right reasons. He was desperate for marriage—but didn’t love me. I couldn’t see myself being happy in his family and with his kids. But the pain of his loss is still profound a year on. This is the first […]
Why Intimate Relationships End
Dear Neil: My boyfriend abruptly ended our two year relationship. No real explanation was offered—just that he decided that I wasn’t the one. There was no discussion about what went into his decision, or what he was thinking or feeling about me—or about us. But I’m sure we both loved and cared about each other. […]
Healing Sorrow Through Grieving
Dear Neil: I wonder if you could write about the slow ending of a relationship through a long illness. Thanks. Grieving in Wellington, New Zealand Dear Grieving: To say “goodbye” to someone is accepting that a connection has ended. It means breaking the energetic connection that keeps you tied together. It is essential if you […]
A Relationship Requires Two
Dear Neil: I recently broke up with my boyfriend of two months, and I’m having a very hard time moving on. About a month into our relationship, while he was drunk, he told me that he was paranoid about getting close to me because he was afraid I would break up with him. During our […]
Ending A Relationship
Dear Neil: I’m having a great deal of trouble ending a relationship with my boyfriend of several years. I know it would be in my best interest to end things—the relationship will never go anywhere, partially because I don’t want a long-term relationship with him. Anyway, I’m aware that time is marching on and I’m […]
Advice For Divorced Woman
Dear Neil: I’m 36 years-old. I’ve been divorced for a year and a half and have a six year-old son. My 34 year-old ex-husband is in the throes of a whirlwind courtship and is about to marry a gorgeous 19 year-old girl. I’m having trouble dealing with his new relationship. It’s not that I […]
How Healed From Divorce Are You?
Dear Neil: For the past six months, I have been healing from a painful, acrimonious drawn out divorce/custody battle that has left me drained, angry and exhausted. I still have lots of emotions about my ex-husband and how the whole relationship—and all our love—just disintegrated in front of my eyes. I have recently begun dating […]
How to Let Go of a Relationship
Dear Neil: My boyfriend of six and a half years broke up with me and married another woman. Before they married, she decided she didn’t want to work, so he supported her, bought her a car, etc. Do you think he forgot me that quickly after all the years we were together? Was he on […]
Reduce Your Attachment
in Order to Let Go of a Relationship Dear Neil: I have recently been dumped by my partner of two years. The worst thing seems to be that I am finding it very hard to let go. Can you recommend anything that will help? Lost In New Zealand Dear Neil: My husband and I split […]
Going All Out: Increasing Your Attachment
Dear Neil: My wife accuses me of being disattached and emotionally withdrawn in our relationship. What can I do to increase my level of attachment and become closer to her? Distant in San Antonio, Texas Dear Distant: In a way, this is the same question as to how you could be a better spouse and lover. […]