Dear Neil: I was engaged to a woman with whom I had a wonderful and virtually trouble-free 2 year relationship. Other than a couple of odd breakups precipitated by her and never explained, we never so much as argued. She moved in with her son and we got engaged. I bought her a ring, we […]
Dear Neil: Is there a way to measure how resilient a person is? My girlfriend walked out on me the same week I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. I’m handling things okay, but it got me to wondering if being resilient is something I could cultivate or develop. Any ideas? Holding On In San Francisco […]
Dear Neil: My husband and I split up six years ago after 29 years of marriage. He is still with the woman he left me for, but I am finding it impossible to let go of the relationship and move on. There has not been anyone new since then either. Any suggestions? He’s No Longer […]
Dear Neil: My 25 year marriage ended over 3 years ago. One night my ex-husband forgot to log out of an e-mail account, and I discovered he had an affair with someone he met on Craigslist, had profiles on several adultery dating sites (married man looking for casual sex), and had created his own porn […]
Dear Neil: I’m 28, and I fell in love with a 42-year-old woman. She broke up with me after 6 months, saying it’s not healthy for a woman her age to be having a relationship with a man my age. I’m not agreeing with her reasons to break up, and I know she loves me. […]
How do you say goodbye to a dream? More specifically, how do you say goodbye to a person who you once viewed as your dream—your dream romantic partner, spouse, lover or soul mate? If you are having trouble letting go of your attachment to an ex-romantic partner, somebody who you once may have loved dearly […]
Dear Neil: Could you address the subject of forgiveness? Although I know what it means to forgive, I’m baffled by how to do it. My wife abruptly dumped me for another guy, and I feel extremely hurt, rejected and humiliated. I really cared about her, supported her, was good to her and I loved her, […]
Dear Neil: I recently broke up with my boyfriend of two months, and I’m having a very hard time moving on. About a month into our relationship, while he was drunk, he told me that he was paranoid about getting close to me because he was afraid I would break up with him. During our […]
The recent articles printed in these pages about trauma and how people recover have generated dozens of readers writing in to share their stories of loss and their search for recovery. Some people are dealing with the loss of their home in one of the recent devastating fires, some may be injured—or have lost a […]
Dear Neil: How do I get over an ex that I am still in love with? I was in a relationship with a woman for about two years before we broke up. We have tried to remain friends, and we meet for coffee from time to time. I am still in love with her, but […]