Virtually everyone is familiar with Reinhold Niebuhr’s quote: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” There are lots of things over which we have no control, over which we are powerless, and when we refuse […]
Dear Neil: I met a man who I grew extremely fond of, but he is dealing with what appears to be shame-based baggage. After some really far-out, sensationalistic accusations toward me, and a great deal of elevated anxiety, I included his family. But I probably did the worst thing possible because he took it all […]
Let’s face it. Not every parent knows how to parent well, and some people seemingly know nothing at all about good parenting. Some parents are ill-equipped to be moms or dads—either because they don’t want to be parents; they’re not ready yet; because they’ve had poor parental role models from their own upbringing; because they’re […]
Dear Neil: What is wrong with women? My last several attempts at having an intimate relationship have all failed, largely because I keep encountering damaged women who push away having a close, intimate relationship with a man. One woman was recently raped and was afraid of getting close with a man. Another had a drinking […]
Are you hooked on approval? Read each statement below. Circle “T” if the statement is true or mostly true, or circle “F” if the statement is false or mostly false. If someone disapproves of me, I feel like I’m not very worthwhile. T F It’s extremely important to be liked by nearly everyone in my […]
Dear Neil: My husband of 35 years has diabetes that he barely controls, his stents are completely collapsed, he smokes, does not exercise, and his physical condition is deteriorating badly. I have had a lot of death in my life already, so I am trying to build myself up so that I’m not completely devastated […]
Dear Neil: Before marrying my husband, I was concerned with his inability to communicate his feelings, but I hoped that once he left his family he would come out of his shell. After four years of marriage, I found myself lonely and was left to my own devices every weekend because he enjoyed restoring classic […]
Dear Neil: My boyfriend and I have been dating for several months. I am in my 20’s, and am in university. He’s moving at the end of next month an hour away (I do not have a car), and when he gets another contract, he could be going anywhere. This man is someone I think […]
What meaning do you draw from your failures, tragedies, betrayals, disappointments or mistakes? What helps you spring back when things don’t go your way, or when you’re dealing with the various setbacks and bummers that life invariably throws your way? Whether it is a religious belief, the desire to win the heart of one special […]
Dear Neil: My life experience proves that all men are alike: they all disappoint me in the end. So why try to have a good relationship with one? There’s no sense in getting close to a man, because he’s going to leave me eventually. In my last relationship, I wanted to know everything he did […]