Dear Neil: I was recently rejected by a woman I was hoping to marry, and I am really hurting badly. I tried so very hard in the relationship, gave it so much, was so loving, romantic, generous, patient, forgiving and accommodating, but I was still rejected. I still want a relationship, and I still want […]
Making Peace With Your Parents
Dear Neil: My mother and I have never been close. I had to fend for myself as I was growing up and never got care and comfort from her on an emotional level. She has the beginning of dementia, as well as physical problems. She requires a lot of watching over and supervision, and I […]
Overcoming Fear
Dear Neil: I have some fears that I’m having a hard time coping with. The first thing that I’m afraid of is failing in my relationship with my boyfriend of five months. I have a history of my relationships with guys failing, and I really want this one to work out. Secondly, my mom and […]
Avoiding The Christmas Blues (Part 2)
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. Click here for part one Some people find that holiday depression feeds on itself. In the beginning, they are unhappy for a specific reason. Then they are upset at themselves for being unhappy at Christmas. And they may also resent the real or imagined pressure from […]
Avoiding The Christmas Blues (Part 1)
Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Click here for part two You are riding through the snowy New England countryside in a sleigh pulled by a magnificent team of Clydesdale horses. The only sounds you hear are the hooffalls of the horses, the creaking of harnesses and the ringing of sleigh bells. […]
Try Something Different
Dear Neil: My boyfriend is reluctant to commit to a relationship with me. He would rather both of us date others and keep our options open. But I am now 25, and feel the desire to settle down and start a family. I am sure he loves me. So I tried harder by seducing him […]
Self-Esteem
Dear Neil: My self-esteem has not been very good recently. Exactly what is low self-esteem? Can I change my low self-esteem and make it higher by doing more things that feel good to me? Wanting More In Vancouver Dear Wanting More: When self-esteem is low, we tend to neglect our friends, family and colleagues—the people […]
“Secrets” to Enjoying Life
NOTE: THIS IS THE SECOND OF A TWO-PART SERIES We all know that becoming older is supposed to be our time for harvesting, for reaping the rewards of our lives. But for many of us who have plowed and sown seed, we are not very good at the harvesting part. We have to get past […]
What Stops Us From Feeling Happy More of the Time?
Note: this is the first of a two-part series. When was the last time you can remember walking around with a smile on your face, a laugh in your belly, at lightness in your heart and a sense of exuberance at the sheer wonder of being alive? There is so much that seems to be […]
Do You Have an Achilles Heel?
In the classic myth, Achilles’ 5-foot-8-inch body had only 3 inches of weakness in his heel, and yet those 3 inches became his downfall. In a similar way, many of us treat our weaknesses as if they are the sole measure of our attractiveness, self-worth and value. We let our insecurities convince us that those […]