Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Dear Neil: I have been full of shame and fear all of my life. I recently met a guy who uses alcohol to cover up his emotions, which I guess to also be shame and fear. We’re both in our fifties. Is he a good risk […]
How Depression Effects Your Relationship
Ever been depressed? Ever been in a relationship with someone who is depressed? If so, did you find yourself at a loss to know what to do? Did your relationship get battered in the process ? Depression strains relationships. A depressed person is likely to be morose, pessimistic, cynical, hopeless, sad, lonely, tired, fatigued and […]
Quiz: How Comfortable Are You With Yourself?
The following quiz is designed to measure how comfortable you are with yourself. To take the quiz, answer the following questions honestly: I envy others a lot. __ Like me __Unlike me I’m happy in my life. __ Like me __Unlike me I have a lot of noise inside my head. I can’t stop thinking […]
Being Your Own Hero
Do you have it in you to be a hero? Heroes face some predictable obstacles. They go on quests to meet a goal or a challenge. They encounter seemingly insurmountable obstacles and setbacks. They are confronted with their own demons, they struggle with their limitations and they’re forced to learn how to harness their own […]
Unlock Barriers to Giving and Receiving Love
Dear Neil: My wife and I have been reading your recent three-part series about how people block themselves from giving and receiving love. It has spoken closely to our situation. At conception, my wife was unwanted by her mother. This translated to her forming strong and mystifying barriers to me. These barriers have refused all […]
Resilience
Success in life encompasses such features as positive relationships with others, contentment at work, feeling as if you’re in control of your future, a positive outlook and resilience. What is resilience? A resilient mindset, says Robert Brooks and Sam Goldstein in the book The Power of Resilience (Contemporary Books) consists of: Establishing realistic goals and expectations […]
Cleaning Up Your Attitude
Do you have an attitude? Do you go about your day sour, out of sorts, angry or irritated a fair amount of the time? Are you sharp, cutting or sarcastic? Burned out, tired or quick to the trigger a lot? Willing to believe the worst about others? Mistrusting or cynical? Are you often resentful, argumentative, […]
Confronting Our Biggest Challenges Head-On
For so many of us, Thanksgiving has become a day of food, drink and family. We are barely aware of the deeper meaning of the event, its larger significance getting buried beneath football games, copious amounts of food and the beginning of Christmas season. As Adam Cohen in the New York Times reminds us, Thanksgiving […]
Self-Sabotage Undermines Your Belief in Yourself
Dear Neil: I have a pattern of choosing men who are unavailable, already in a relationship, married to their jobs or just out for a good time. The ones that are available, who treat me well, who offer me hope—I find inadequate, and I eventually dump them. Why am I doing this? I would like […]
What Does Your Job Mean to You?
Dear Neil: Could you offer any guidance or assistance about how to evaluate my job and my career? I’m a computer software engineer. I’m paid moderately well and have good job security, but I’m not feeling all that fulfilled and/or satisfied with what I’m doing. How do I evaluate my job/career? Struggling in Longmont, Colorado […]