Dear Neil: I am interested in your thoughts on how to feel compassion for myself. I am extremely hard on myself, and I regularly think of how I could have said or done something better—after the fact. I would like to know how to be kind and compassionate to myself and put my inner critic […]
Why Aren’t Men Checking Me Out?
Dear Neil: Is there something that makes men attracted to women? Why is it that my best friend is hit on all the time (even as she gains a little weight), but I don’t get hit on at all. I am shy, and I just don’t have it in me to talk to a random […]
Abundance
Are you trapped in the treadmill of always striving for more? More love, more money, more clothes, better car, nicer house, nicer furniture, more recognition, more appreciation, more validation? More respect? Not that you shouldn’t strive for being the best and having the best, mind you, but have you noticed what such striving does to […]
Aging Well
Feeling older? Most of us do, although it’s obvious that some people are aging better than others. Aging well is not a secret. It’s a series of steps anyone can take. It’s about making sure that the various aspects of your life (health, your relationships with others, inner peace, future goals, gratitude, having fun, etc.) […]
How Do I Stop Losing Myself in My Relationships?
Dear Neil: I am a well accomplished successful artist in my mid-thirties. I am confident in most areas of my life. However, when I get into a relationship, I lose myself completely. I become insecure, dependent on what men think, desperate for approval. I forget my own life and my own priorities, and I end […]
Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. If you wish to raise an emotionally intelligent child, you’re going to have to get good at being your child’s emotion coach. Emotional coaching consists of the following steps: Being aware of the child’s emotions. Emotional awareness means that you recognize when you’re feeling an emotion, […]
How Children Learn To Be Emotionally Intelligent
Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Imagine for a moment what it would be like to grow up in a home where your parents expected you to always be cheerful, happy and calm. The trouble is, things keep happening in your life that makes it nearly impossible to keep up a happy […]
18 Ways to Have a Great New Year
The following are rules to live by if you desire a happy, more fulfilled life. Honor these suggestions and your New Year will be a lot happier and more satisfying: Any love, when it is ignored, not given a high enough priority or when it is treated poorly—deteriorates. Be an active participant in your intimate […]
Don’t Give Yourself Future Regrets
Regrets fall into two categories: 1.) Missed or mishandled opportunities and 2.), those things we try our hardest to achieve but that we fail at. Of the two choices, take permission to pat yourself on the back for the effort you put into the second one, because although you may have failed, you tried your […]
Changing Feelings of Inadequecy and Shame
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. Feelings of shame and personal inadequacy can be transformed into feelings of self-love and self-caring. The negative feelings can end. Here’s how, according to Pat and Ron Potter-Efron in the book The Secret Message of Shame (New Harbinger): Ask yourself the following questions: When do I feel […]