Do you sometimes feel completely defeated? Perhaps you feel that things are outrageously hard and you’d like to just give up, or perhaps you feel it’s just too hard to (choose one): find a love relationship with someone you’re attracted to and who is attracted back, get along, like the person you’re married or committed […]
Want to Stop Worrying? Here’s How!
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. Click here for part one The following tips on how to stop worrying come from Edward M. Hallowell’s book Worry: Attack your worry; don’t let it attack you. Charge toward the issue. Then you will not over think the problem of how to handle it instead; […]
Quiz: Are You a Worrier?
Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Click here for part two Everyone worries from time to time, but to find out how severe a worrier you are, take the following quiz, adapted from Edward M. Hollowell’s book Worry. Give yourself 0 points if your answer is “rarely or not at all,” 1 […]
Agreements With Self Lead to Higher Self-Esteem
Looking for better self-esteem? Higher self-worth? Increased self-confidence? The following ideas about how to achieve a better relationship with yourself—which are really good rules for living—are taken from Don Miguel Ruiz’s excellent book The Four Agreements (Amber-Allen Publishing). If you want better self-esteem, make the following four agreements with yourself and then be sure to […]
Woman’s Insecurities Are Threatening Her Relationship
Dear Neil: I am 32 years-old, and I’m a mess. I grew up in a mess of a home—parents divorced when I was five. I had an abusive step-father. My father and I are now estranged. I’ve spent years trying to connect the dots between my childhood and the person I am, so I can […]
Carrying a Torch for Somebody from the Past
Dear Neil: Twenty-five years ago, I had a four-year relationship with a woman that ended badly. But ever since then, I’ve had dreams of reconnecting with her. So at the time of my recent divorce, I contacted her, told her of my desire for her, and invited her to get together again. She said that […]
Forgiving Your Parents and Making Peace With The Past
Note: This is second of a two-part series. We have this notion that our parents were born as adults. Frequently, people believe their parents were in charge of themselves when they had children, that their parents knew what they were doing—and that however they behaved around their children, they did so intentionally. If you harbor […]
How Childhood Impacts Intimacy in Adulthood
Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Dear Neil: My ex-husband was emotionally unavailable. After 20 years of marriage, I called it quits. But he has also been emotionally unavailable to our children. Will this affect their intimate relationships? And will this get passed on to their children? Doubly Hurt in Wellington, New […]
Helping Yourself Flourish
Note: This is the second of two-part series. The following is a continuation of the traits that are associated with flourishing and thriving in life. This list was stimulated by the book Flourishing (Edited by Corey Keyes and Jonathan Haidt, American Psychological Association). These traits give people the inner experience of well-being and are associated […]
Creating Feelings of Personal Well-Being
Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Quick. Without thinking a lot about it, can you say what makes your life worth living? Perhaps you’ve noticed that some people go through life reluctantly, as if dragged against their will. They don’t feel that they make a difference, and nothing they do seems to […]