Dear Neil: I’m confused. I get mixed signals from single women I’ve dated about what they want a man to be, and about what they expect from a man in an intimate relationship. Most women clearly want a man to be financially stable and affluent—in essence to pay for everything, and to offer the long […]
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. Click here for part one If you are a “doormat,” you take care of other people, and you have a hard time taking care of yourself—and allowing yourself to be taken care of. Doormats usually need to be perfect, telling themselves things like “I always need […]
Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Click here for part two Are you a doormat? Do you see yourself as having little or no personal power with other people? Do you seek validation from others because you lack confidence in your own abilities and because you have poor self-esteem? Do you feel […]
Dear Neil: This is a story of two men. One is a gentle man who genuinely likes me and who nurtures me, is wonderfully caretaking, kind, emotionally healthy and sweet. The other man is totally self-absorbed and self-centered, jealous, insecure, controlling, manipulative, mean-spirited, dishonest and he treats me like dirt. Oh, did I mention that […]
This quiz will help you identify how much you trust yourself vs. how much you doubt yourself. Give yourself a score of 0-5 for each question, where 0 means it doesn’t apply at all, and 5 means that it is often troublesome to you. Do you berate yourself for having strong feelings? (anger, fear, loneliness, […]
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. Click here for part one The following questions are designed to help you explore how you can increase your sense of personal power, self-worth and self-esteem—by exploring where in life you’ve been intelligent, kind, healthy, strong, courageous or wise. These questions come courtesy of Carlene and […]
Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Click here for part two If you are like most of us, you focus most of your personal attention on your problems and your challenges—on the things that aren’t going so well in your life. Things such as relationship troubles, financial worries, career stumbles or dead-ends, […]
Dear Neil: I married the distant/critical type and had to get divorced. I am currently dating the loving/approving type, but I occasionally find myself being distant and critical with him. What do I do to stop the cycle and not drive the good man away? Christchurch, New Zealand Dear Neil: I’ve been married 23 years […]
Do you sometimes feel completely defeated? Perhaps you feel that things are outrageously hard and you’d like to just give up, or perhaps you feel it’s just too hard to (choose one): find a love relationship with someone you’re attracted to and who is attracted back, get along, like the person you’re married or committed […]
Dear Neil: Why would a man turn down everything he says he wants? The first time we met, he said he thought I was pretty, interesting, and sexy. We instantly hit it off, had a great time together and things started progressing very quickly. Our connection was magnificently intimate from the beginning. There was hope, […]