Dear Neil: I have saved a column you wrote over a decade ago called “Husbandry 101: For Committed Men.” My copy has yellowed and frayed over the years, so could you rerun that column again? I believe many would like to see it again. Boulder, Colorado Dear Boulder: You bet. Here is a list of […]
The variety of couples in the news who are separating or divorcing is a sober reminder that our intimate relationships are fragile and can break—and that they must be handled with proper care and maintenance. Many things can go wrong in a marriage. But there are things you can do—or stop doing—that directly relate to […]
Over the course of my career as a marriage counselor, I have heard thousands of stories about intimate relationships that have gone wrong. Love, which takes much less effort in the beginning of a relationship, increasingly requires far more effort, relational skills and stick-to-it-ness as the relationship matures. Because of the almost unlimited number of […]
Dear Neil: After my husband and I have a disagreement, especially if voices have been raised, I get the silent treatment. It can last as long as two weeks. I used to cry and attempt to cajole him into communicating during those spells, but that only seemed to strengthen his resolve. So now I go […]
Dear Neil: How would you recommend I handle this? My wife of three months is chronically late. She was late to our wedding and late to our honeymoon (we missed our flight, but we were able to get a later flight). I’m one of these super-punctual people, and her persistent lateness is a strong irritation […]
Empathy is the ability to feel the emotions of someone else. It describes how well we identify with other people’s pain, fears, desires, feelings and experiences. It is the one trait that most links humans together. It makes me have compassion for what has befallen you, it allows you to feel excited by my success, […]
Dear Neil: What chemical changes occur when we enter a new relationship and then fall in love? I remember reading an article saying the changes that occur in the brain when we begin a new relationship are like a continuous feeling of euphoria. Curious in Wellington, New Zealand Dear Wellington: There is no experience more […]
Note: This is the third of a three-part series. Click here for part one Suppose your intimate partner said something that hurt your feelings and you retaliate with a cutting remark. You are angry and you try to think of the reasons why s/he was so hurtful to you. So you come up with a […]
Note: This is the second of a three-part series. Click here for part three Emotional intimacy is being open and revealing about what you feel and what you think. When you are emotionally intimate with someone, you allow that person inside your private emotional space by sharing your deepest emotions and your innermost thoughts. Many couples “make love” […]
Note: This is the first of a three-part series. Click here for part two When we think of intelligence, we usually think of doing well in school, getting good grades and generally being the equivalent of a rocket scientist. That is called intellectual intelligence, and we refer to it as IQ. But there is also social intelligence (SQ), […]