Do you interrupt people a lot? Do loved ones complain that you chime in by cutting them off in conversation? All of us cut into a conversation sometimes, and some interruptions can be helpful or clarifying. You may have an important correction to make, you may have information to add that the other person doesn’t […]
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. Click here for part one Love appears to require much less effort in the beginning of a relationship than it does as the relationship matures. Over time, it is so easy to become distant, disconnected or upset with each other—and that’s precisely what people frequently come […]
Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Click here for part two Your relationship will not stay close and intimate without good communication. Most people think they communicate well, but good communication involves more than telling someone your thoughts, feelings and judgements. Good communication requires: Being an extremely good listener Hearing without arguing […]
Dear Neil: My husband and I have been married almost 38 years. He does not speak intimately or lovingly toward me during sex, and I’ve given up on getting him to tell me he loves me. He avoids conflict and gets reactive if I attempt to address issues that concern me. I’d love for us […]
Dear Neil: My boyfriend refuses to communicate when there is an issue in our relationship. He would rather I simply never talk about it. If I dared to make suggestions to him about how to better deal with conflicts or issues, he would blow up. I’ve tried to have calm conversations with him on what […]
Dear Neil: I met him when I was 17. We had a special bond and could talk about anything, and we were very emotionally and physically attracted to each other. But he was not the type to show emotions, and he said he didn’t want to get married or have kids, so I eventually left him […]
Let’s say you were interested in deepening the closeness in your relationship. How would you go about doing that? It’s a good bet that whatever you did would involve 1) talking about personal feelings, dreams, fears, concerns and emotions, and 2) being more affectionate. Here is an exercise in creating or deepening the connection with […]
Dear Neil: My significant other of 3 years doesn’t understand that I need reassurance from him because of his rejection and abandonment from the past. All he can say to me is that I need to move on or it’s not going to work, and that I need to decide to trust him. But I’m […]
Dear Neil: Over the past two years my husband has been growing away from me. He says it’s me just being emotional, but he doesn’t touch/cuddle me anymore, and he is no longer interested in how I feel. I don’t think that we will last much longer. Do you have any advice? No Longer Close […]
Focus on the qualities you admire and appreciate in your partner, and speak them. There’s a reason you chose him or her. What did you see in the beginning of the relationship that was so appealing, and what do you see now in your spouse/partner that is attractive, positive and good? Make it a point […]