Talking to Each Other So frequently do marriage therapists—including myself—hear couples complain that they don’t communicate well, that I thought I would offer an exercise for those couples who would like to improve the quality of communication in their relationship. These questions are taken from Bonnie Sose’s book “Talk to Me“. Name seven specific things […]
Loving Unconditionally
Loving someone unconditionally is what most of us want to feel, what we hope to feel and what we do feel at times. But most of us also have desires, feelings, wishes and dreams, and if our wishes are ignored, violated or dishonored, we will—knowingly or not—fall out of love with our intimate partners. Thus, […]
Unconditional Love
What is unconditional love? Do you receive it from someone, and do you give it to other people? For that matter, do you feel unconditional love towards yourself? What is unconditional love? “Loving the person even if you don’t like their behavior,” says Amy T. from Triangle, Virginia. “Accepting the person for what they are, […]
The Art of Forgiveness
Forgiving someone means to pardon them while giving up your resentment, and letting go of your urge to punish. The decision to forgive someone arises out of the desire to be at peace with yourself and others. The person who forgives usually gains more from the experience than the person being forgiven. It is an […]
Learning to Forgive
“We have been married 38 years, have four children and five grandchildren,” writes a woman from Milwaukee. “Last December, I confirmed my suspicion (that my husband) had been seeing someone else. She’d just turned 40, which is three years older than our oldest daughter.” “The other woman sent me copies of photos, notes and cards […]
Solving Conflict
There is Another Way Terry Dodson tells a story of learning about handling and resolving conflict. Because of space limitations, I’ve had to edit his tale to its essence. “The train clanked and rattled through the suburbs of Tokyo on a drowsy spring afternoon. At one station, the doors opened and suddenly the afternoon quiet […]
Student Husband, Student Wife
“I used to think I had no problem with intimacy because I could have sex so easily. I can see now that I used sex as a tool to validate my self-worth. I have been married for 15 years and have never had any intimacy. Can a 42-year-old person learn intimacy?” Wanting in Denver, Colorado Dear […]
Styles of Love
Listed below are six different styles, or way of loving, from the Love Attitude Scale by Claude and Susan Hendrick. You may embody more than one of these styles. You also may change styles with time and circumstances. All are valid styles that reflect different attitudes about love. What is your style? Eros My partner […]
Perfect Lovers
If someone were given instructions about how to seduce you, could you describe what they would do in order to seduce you perfectly, the exact way you’d like. Do this interesting exercise together as a couple. Ask each other the above question, and allow yourself to be taught how to be a better lover. For […]
Enriching Your Intimate Relationship
We know that Valentine’s Day has been observed for over five hundred years, but there is evidence that it has been associated with lovers from as early as 269 A.D. February 15th was an ancient pagan holiday that represented spring (February fell in springtime in the Julian Calendar, which was used before the 16th century). […]