Being willing to risk hurt is key to deepening a relationship Dear Neil: I am an attractive, single professional woman in my early 40’s. I have a good figure, no children. I have been divorced for ten years and have dated a lot of different men. So why am I still single? My relationships with […]
Keeping Romance Alive
Valentine’s Relationship Requires Consistent Effort Make sure that you express your affection verbally every day. All of us like “sweet nothings” whispered in our ear. “Sweet nothings” usually consist of genuinely complimenting or thanking your mate whenever you can, telling your mate positive things you feel about him/her, or expressing appreciation for his/her virtues. “I […]
Touch Important in Keeping a Relationship Intimate and Vital
How do you nurture a relationship? There are a variety of ways to do so, including confiding, tenderness, forgiving, endearments, compliments, and a variety of caring, giving and loving behaviors. But perhaps the most important of all nurturing behaviors is touch. From infancy on, touch and affection are a vital part of the bonding process. […]
Searching for Nurturance
Taking vs. Giving in a Relationship Dear Neil: When is it going to be my turn? My wife is busy at work during the day, then comes home and pours all of her time and energy into taking care of the children. That would be fine, except that then she’s typically too tired for me—even […]
What Makes Love Last?
What Happy Couples Do That The Rest of Us Don’t What is the difference between happy and unhappy couples? What do happy couples do to make their love last longer? What secrets do happily married people know that the rest of us haven’t figured out yet? “There are couples who remain deeply in love for […]
Forgiveness Permits Us To Release The Past
When was the last time you forgave someone who hurt you? Forgiveness means to grant pardon without resentment. It is experienced intellectually, emotionally and spiritually. Forgiveness is a key to happiness and well-being, because it releases the anger, hurt, bitterness, pain, fear and even sometimes the illnesses that we carry around. One of the reasons […]
Lust
Ask people the importance of chemistry and lust to the health and well being of their intimate relationship, and they definitely have strongly held attitudes and opinions about the subject. Several thousand readers from around the world responded to the question posed in this column, “How important is lust, chemistry and sexual attraction to a […]
Quiz: Talking to Each Other
Couples Communication These are more couple communication exercises taken from Bonnie Sose’s book Talk to Me. To get the most out this exercise, allow each person to answer the same question before you go on to the next question. How is your mate unique? What needs of yours does your mate fulfill? Can you remember a […]
Quiz: Communicating
Talking to Each Other So frequently do marriage therapists—including myself—hear couples complain that they don’t communicate well, that I thought I would offer an exercise for those couples who would like to improve the quality of communication in their relationship. These questions are taken from Bonnie Sose’s book “Talk to Me“. Name seven specific things […]
Loving Unconditionally
Loving someone unconditionally is what most of us want to feel, what we hope to feel and what we do feel at times. But most of us also have desires, feelings, wishes and dreams, and if our wishes are ignored, violated or dishonored, we will—knowingly or not—fall out of love with our intimate partners. Thus, […]