The subject is about trust and betrayal, and three different readers illustrate the point. A woman from Brookfield, Wisconsin writes: “Please address how long it takes to get over the betrayal of a spouse after 21 years of marriage. He left me for another woman.” Sheila T. from Denver wrote in to ask: “There have […]
Man Wants More From His Marriage
Dear Neil: I came from a broken family and was determined to make my marriage work at any cost. I’ve now been married 26 years, but we don’t have intimacy, and we never do anything together. I want the kids to have as close to a normal upbringing as I can provide, but I feel […]
Soulmate Relationships
Dear Neil: My girlfriend of two years recently broke up with me. She said that we weren’t soul mates, and that she needed a soul mate in order to consider a future with me. What exactly is a soul mate? Can you create a soul mate relationship or does it just happen? Is there anything […]
“Porcupine” Spouses Hard to Communicate With
Some people are like a walled-off garden. There is something beautiful inside them, but for some reason the beauty has been locked away….hidden behind a seemingly insurmountable wall. Let’s call these non-communicators “porcupines.” Porcupines don’t want to interact with other animals. They just want to be left alone. If you watch a curious young dog […]
Becoming Soulmates
Dear Neil: Can you tell me how my husband and I can become soul mates? Ready in Toronto Dear Ready: Following are the essential ingredients needed for two people to become—and stay—soul mates. These ideas were stimulated by Daphne Rose Kingma’s book “The Future Of Love” (Doubleday). Honesty. Each time we tell the truth we become […]
Working Through Conflict More Effectively
The following exercises are designed to help couples work through conflict more effectively. If your relationship is beset with conflicts which occasionally spin out of control, then try learning these relationship skills. HIDDEN MESSAGES Explore which hidden issues are operating in your relationship. Consider the degree to which each issue seems to affect your relationship […]
Fighting Better
Dear Neil: My wife and I are getting into a fair number of ugly arguments and vicious fights. Lots of things can trigger an argument, but stopping the argument is an entirely different matter. I feel we are destroying our relationship by the way we are fighting. Are there any suggestions you can offer about […]
Traits of a Good Relationship
Dear Neil: We have been married four years, and have noticed that a lot of things can water down our closeness and intimacy for us. Could you describe the traits or skills that are necessary for my wife and I to create the best relationship we possibly can? Dwindling in Pensacola, Florida Dear Dwindling: Here […]
Fighting More Effectively With Your Mate
Dear Neil: Could you recommend a way my husband and I can fight (or even talk and disagree) more effectively? Our disagreements are getting very heated and personal, and sometimes attacking, and they’re threatening our marriage. Heated in Sydney, Australia Dear Heated: We all know that when couples are screaming at each other, or when […]
Cultivating More Love in Your Relationship
Most of us wish to be close to someone without getting destroyed in the process. If you have ever loved and lost, you will understand how hard it is to open up and to offer your heart yet again. The reason why people don’t love more is related to the fear of getting rejected, betrayed […]