Note: This is the second of a two-part series. Click here for part one The following questions and topics are designed to help you in deepening the connection and closeness of a new relationship. These questions must be done with a co-participant who is open and honest and wants a closer, more intimate relationship – […]
Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Click here for part two Most people find the meeting, dating, getting-to-know-you stage of a relationship awkward and uncomfortable. Even though there is the potential for romance, sex, love and “happily ever after” – or maybe because there is that potential – people ranging in age […]
What Grade Would You Give Your Relationship? Everyone wants to be in love, stay in love, and live a fun, passionate, fulfilling and meaningful life. We begin our relationships full of hope. We begin our marriages by vowing our best. We all feel that our relationships are special, different and unique. And they are. So […]
Talking to Each Other So frequently do marriage therapists—including myself—hear couples complain that they don’t communicate well, that I thought I would offer an exercise for those couples who would like to improve the quality of communication in their relationship. These questions are taken from Bonnie Sose’s book Talk to Me. Name seven specific things […]
Let’s say you were looking to love someone—or to love someone more fully. What would you do to achieve that goal? Pamper her with jewelry? Compliment him? Romance her more? Spend more time together? Bring her flowers? Seduce him? Well, not exactly. Not that those behaviors wouldn’t be appreciated, but rather those behaviors are only […]
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. Even lawyers aren’t always adversarial. Many lawyers will acknowledge that a successful negotiation allows both sides to walk away from the table feeling content with the outcome. But all too often, couples who can’t resolve their differences approach each other like bad lawyers. They argue their […]
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. Click here for part one Let’s say it’s been years since you and your partner have talked meaningfully about what you liked, loved, admired, respected or found attractive about each other. If that’s the case—or close to it—we can assume that, although the two of you […]
Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Click here for part two Dear Neil: I am in my late 70’s and have been married 45 years. My wife and I have raised three children, have helped raised four grandchildren, went bankrupt, grew a successful business, and paid off our house. We have endured […]
Dear Neil: My relationship with my boyfriend of almost two years has been wonderful. We moved to Colorado from the East Coast, and he started a new job and went back to school, both about three weeks ago. Since then, everything has changed. He went from being a sweet loving and compassionate person, to someone […]
A Valentine’s Primer Here are some of the essential challenges an intimate relationships asks of us. Master these skills, and you’re well on your way to having a Happy Valentine’s Day: Build and/or expand “us.” In every troubled relationship, there tends to be a small “us” and a large “you” or “I.” The goal, therefore, […]