Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Imagine for a moment what it would be like to grow up in a home where your parents expected you to always be cheerful, happy and calm. The trouble is, things keep happening in your life that makes it nearly impossible to keep up a happy […]
Regaining a Relationship with Your Grown Children
Dear Neil: I have completely lost contact with my grown children (ages 30 to 18). Their mother and I had a nasty, acrimonious divorce, and she practiced child alienation, bad-mouthing and condemning me a great deal to them. I feel rejected by them because it feels as if they have taken their mother’s side and […]
In-Law Problems?
Dear Neil: Recently you wrote about in-law problems. My in-laws are extremely difficult to be around, and they’re around us a lot. Can you write more about this subject? Pulling My Hair Out in Canada Dear Pulling My Hair Out: There’s no question that in-laws can break up a relationship . Toxic in-laws fall into […]
Same Sex Relationships Have More Complications
Dear Neil: Our grown son has recently disclosed to us that he is gay, and that he is in love with another man. He has asked for our support and our advice about how to make their relationship permanent. We don’t have experience with same sex partnerships, and therefore would be grateful if you would […]
When Your Child Emotionally Emancipates
Dear Neil: We have a thirty-four year old son who is a PhD. He’s always been a social loner, and does not socialize personally much at all. He goes tramping (hiking and camping) and on overseas holidays alone. Recently, by e-mail, he coldly and abusively said that he was fed up with our “interest” and […]
Want to be Closer to Your Siblings?
Dear Neil: We are a retired couple who feel saddened and disappointed by our three grown-up children. They barely communicate with each other, and rarely remember birthdays, Christmas or each other’s children. On the rare occasion when we get together as a family, such as a wedding, the time is fraught with tension. I would […]
Mending The Family Estrangement
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. Click here for part one You used to be so close, but now you’re not talking to each other. And it hurts. How do you go about mending a family estrangement? Work through your resentments. When you have worked through resentments that get in your way, […]
Are You Estranged From Someone in Your Family?
Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Click here for part two Are you estranged from a loved one in your family? Someone who doesn’t want to see or even speak to you? Or perhaps it’s a group of relatives who want nothing more to do with you. There are myriad reasons for […]
Don’t Over-Generalize Relationship Problems
Dear Neil: My girlfriend is a wonderful woman in every way but one. But this one thing makes me question whether we could ever be compatible with each other long-term. She lets everything go till the last minute. You name it—bills, showing up for an appointment on time, washing dishes, doing the laundry, cleaning her […]
With Defiant Teenager You Must Set Firm Boundaries
Dear Neil: I need some help with how to aid the relationship with my live-in boyfriend and my 14 year-old daughter. She once looked up to him, but is now negative and defiant toward him. She has been labeled in the special education realm as being emotionally disturbed and having Oppositional Defiant Disorder. She and […]