Are you a well functioning and responsible person living with someone who is barely functional and irresponsible? Are you someone who does too much, married to someone who does too little? If so, you may be in an “overfunctioning/underfunctioning” relationship. Roberta Gilbert, in the book Extraordinary Relationships defines a person as overfunctioning when they’re doing things […]
The Leave/Come Back/Leave Relationship Last year things began to change drastically in my three-and-a-half-year relationship. We had made plans to get married when suddenly he stopped treating me with the respect he always had, he was angry, blamed me for things, told me he needed time to himself to sort things out, rented a place […]
When You’re Not in the Mood How do you handle it when you are in a committed, monogamous relationship, and you want sex more frequently than your mate does? Let’s say you’ve tried everything in order to help your mate increase his/her libido: endearments, a lot of nurturing and tender loving care, plenty of affection […]
Different Sexual Appetites “I want a good relationship with my wife, but she sexually rejects me so frequently that it stops me from having a good relationship with her,” writes Kenneth S., from Dallas. “So often she’s tired, not in the mood, has a headache, or is otherwise unavailable for sex. I want sex two […]
Two letters illustrate the dilemma: “I”m 43-years-old and married to the same good man for twenty three years,” writes a woman from Staten Island, New York. “My husband sees sex as a nightly habit necessary to a good night’s sleep. It is rare for him to get into bed and just want to go to […]
Dear Neil: What in the world do available men have against suitable, nice, full figured women? Several months ago, in a large northeastern city, I placed an ad in the personals of a popular newspaper that has a large circulation among professional men. I described myself perfectly—I included the adjectives pretty, charming, bright, vivacious, and […]
Couples Communication These are more couple communication exercises taken from Bonnie Sose’s book Talk to Me. To get the most out this exercise, allow each person to answer the same question before you go on to the next question. How is your mate unique? What needs of yours does your mate fulfill? Can you remember a […]
Talking to Each Other So frequently do marriage therapists—including myself—hear couples complain that they don’t communicate well, that I thought I would offer an exercise for those couples who would like to improve the quality of communication in their relationship. These questions are taken from Bonnie Sose’s book “Talk to Me“. Name seven specific things […]
Loving someone unconditionally is what most of us want to feel, what we hope to feel and what we do feel at times. But most of us also have desires, feelings, wishes and dreams, and if our wishes are ignored, violated or dishonored, we will—knowingly or not—fall out of love with our intimate partners. Thus, […]
What is unconditional love? Do you receive it from someone, and do you give it to other people? For that matter, do you feel unconditional love towards yourself? What is unconditional love? “Loving the person even if you don’t like their behavior,” says Amy T. from Triangle, Virginia. “Accepting the person for what they are, […]