Valentine’s Relationship Requires Consistent Effort Make sure that you express your affection verbally every day. All of us like “sweet nothings” whispered in our ear. “Sweet nothings” usually consist of genuinely complimenting or thanking your mate whenever you can, telling your mate positive things you feel about him/her, or expressing appreciation for his/her virtues. “I […]
Touch Important in Keeping a Relationship Intimate and Vital
How do you nurture a relationship? There are a variety of ways to do so, including confiding, tenderness, forgiving, endearments, compliments, and a variety of caring, giving and loving behaviors. But perhaps the most important of all nurturing behaviors is touch. From infancy on, touch and affection are a vital part of the bonding process. […]
Confronting Your Past
It Is Possible To Change Your Relationship Patterns Dear Neil: Recently I lost my job of nine years, my beautiful home, my cat, my possessions, and my boyfriend of four years dumped me. They say time heals all wounds, but I wonder about some of the scars that are on my heart. When I was […]
Finding That Special Someone Can Be Difficult
Dear Neil: In the last two years, I have been on exactly two dates. It isn’t from lack of trying. I’ve tried the bar scene, personal ads, dating services of all types, and I have encouraged friends to fix me up, but to no avail. I’ve tried aerobics classes, cooking classes, night school, and other […]
Why Are Good Men Reluctant to Remarry?
Dear Neil: I’m a 40-something religious woman with a strong, rural upbringing. The friendship I have with one man is a wonderful thing for both of us, but I want more than that with him. He doubts he’ll ever get married again. But he is such a compassionate, caring and understanding person that it seems […]
Making Love When You Don’t Feel Like It
Dear Neil: Would you write about the dilemma of having sex when you don’t feel like it? I am in a relationship where my boyfriend has a much higher sexual appetite than I do. Since he gets upset and angry if we don’t make love, I find myself giving in and having more sex with […]
Sitting on the Fence Just Keeps You Stuck
Dear Neil: I am in a four year relationship with a woman I live with, but have been unwilling to commit to. She isn’t the kind of person I thought I’d permanently wind up with. She isn’t a college educated professional. She doesn’t communicate well, and she is extremely emotional. But she is caring, sensitive […]
Searching for Nurturance
Taking vs. Giving in a Relationship Dear Neil: When is it going to be my turn? My wife is busy at work during the day, then comes home and pours all of her time and energy into taking care of the children. That would be fine, except that then she’s typically too tired for me—even […]
Rejection Can Be Hard to Deal With
Rejectors and Rejectees Have Different Dynamics Dear Neil: On meeting my ex-partner eight months after our short but intense relationship ended, I found that although I had worked through the cycle of shock and bitterness, she was still mired in anger and insult. I was given no explanation at the time of our break up […]
Being Safe at the Expense of Being Happy
Dear Neil: Eight years ago I walked out on a very special man: my lover, best friend, protector and provider. It seemed the perfect relationship. Only now do I realize that he loved me unconditionally. Walking through Hyde Park, my reasons for leaving hit me in the face: I was so scared that one day […]