Dear Neil: What is it that blocks me from having sex with my husband of twenty-four years? Probably anger—at the years of belittling, unkind verbal responses, lack of empathy, lack of interest in my concerns, long periods of unresponsive silence, disregard for my personhood, outbursts of inappropriate anger, repeated acts of aggression and hatred. The […]
Breaking Up Requires Effective Closure
Dear Neil: I was in a two year relationship with a fifty year old man who asked me to marry him. But Bob had both second thoughts and anxiety attacks, and eventually he ended the relationship saying: “I don’t want to talk anymore, and I don’t have to tell you why I don’t want to […]
Withholding Sex as a Weapon
Differing sexual appetites is often the nature of romance and marriage. But if your mate is angry with you, or if he/she wants to fight, distance or control you, then withholding sex may be the most powerful way to get your attention. Withholding sex—or using sex as a weapon—is used in many intimate relationships to […]
Wife not enjoying sex…
Dear Neil: The frequency of sex is the major problem in our thirty year marriage. My wife has always had problems with her enjoyment of sex, despite long-term and determined efforts on my part to please her. I have tried music, presents, clothes, gifts, flowers, planning holidays, praise, acceptance, viewing sexy videos together, reading books, […]
How Frequently Do Women Have Sex in Order to Please Men?
That question brought responses from women around the world. Listen to the various ways women view the subject and justify their feelings. “I don’t think anyone should ever have to have sex in order please their partner,” says K.A.P., Amarillo, Texas. “I had sex in order to please my husband most of the time. But […]
Keeping Romance Alive
Valentine’s Relationship Requires Consistent Effort Make sure that you express your affection verbally every day. All of us like “sweet nothings” whispered in our ear. “Sweet nothings” usually consist of genuinely complimenting or thanking your mate whenever you can, telling your mate positive things you feel about him/her, or expressing appreciation for his/her virtues. “I […]
Touch Important in Keeping a Relationship Intimate and Vital
How do you nurture a relationship? There are a variety of ways to do so, including confiding, tenderness, forgiving, endearments, compliments, and a variety of caring, giving and loving behaviors. But perhaps the most important of all nurturing behaviors is touch. From infancy on, touch and affection are a vital part of the bonding process. […]
Confronting Your Past
It Is Possible To Change Your Relationship Patterns Dear Neil: Recently I lost my job of nine years, my beautiful home, my cat, my possessions, and my boyfriend of four years dumped me. They say time heals all wounds, but I wonder about some of the scars that are on my heart. When I was […]
Finding That Special Someone Can Be Difficult
Dear Neil: In the last two years, I have been on exactly two dates. It isn’t from lack of trying. I’ve tried the bar scene, personal ads, dating services of all types, and I have encouraged friends to fix me up, but to no avail. I’ve tried aerobics classes, cooking classes, night school, and other […]
Why Are Good Men Reluctant to Remarry?
Dear Neil: I’m a 40-something religious woman with a strong, rural upbringing. The friendship I have with one man is a wonderful thing for both of us, but I want more than that with him. He doubts he’ll ever get married again. But he is such a compassionate, caring and understanding person that it seems […]