Imagine that you have just been diagnosed with cancer, and that your prognosis is uncertain. Now picture sharing this information with a handful of close and trusted people, and telling them you are scared. Which one of the comments below would feel comforting to hear? “You can beat this, I know you can.” “Do you […]
Dear Neil: I have recently realized that after a number of failed relationships with men that I have what’s called “avoidant attachment style.” It’s been a year since I was seeing a lovely and kind man. We had mutual attraction and good chemistry. However, as we got closer, I would feel overwhelmed and smothered, with […]
Of the many lessons life teaches, here are the ones I am most sure of: If you don’t try and try again, you are way less likely to succeed. Perseverance has everything to do with success. You will be far more likely to succeed if you don’t give up. If you give up, don’t try or […]
Dear Neil: I was engaged to a woman with whom I had a wonderful and virtually trouble-free 2 year relationship. Other than a couple of odd breakups precipitated by her and never explained, we never so much as argued. She moved in with her son and we got engaged. I bought her a ring, we […]
Here are the skills and attitudes that are components of maturity. If I am mature: I exercise considered judgment before acting on something important. I control my emotions and impulses (anger, revenge, lust, vindictiveness, hopefulness, etc.) in order to make the wisest choice. I use my experience and knowledge to guide me in making prudent […]
Dear Neil: How do I stop myself from getting too invested in a relationship? I am a 37 year old female with a good job, and I have spent almost a year with this guy. But he had to move away for work, so we’ve had a long-distance relationship for the past 3 months. He […]
The following questions will help you to evaluate what kind of partner you are, how you’re doing and what changes that would help you to be a better spouse. Answer the following questions honestly and thoroughly. It will help for you to write your answers down or type them up, because you won’t remember them […]
Dear Neil: If I don’t have sex when I’m angry or hurt, or when I don’t feel safe opening up to my husband, am I abusing him? Am I required to have the stomach-churning, skin-crawling, leave me dead inside sex—regardless of the physical pain that goes with it, or the longer-lasting damage to my self-esteem? […]
As we approach father’s day, it might be useful for you to look at how your relationship with your father has affected your life. Although mothers get much of the credit for raising and nurturing kids, don’t fool yourself about the importance of your father. Whether he’s alive or dead, his influence has been extremely […]
Dear Neil: I just came out of an 11 year relationship. We lived together and had custody of his daughter who’s now 14. I work full time and make more money than him, and he works only part time. We got engaged 2 years ago, and decided we wanted a big wedding, so we opened […]