Dear Neil: Please tell me what’s wrong with my 38-year-old daughter. She’s very attractive, physically fit, ambitious and has many interests. She’s financially secure, independent, doesn’t smoke or drink, and has no criminal or psychiatric history. The problem? She never dates. She’s had only two several-month relationships that I know of: when she was twenty-five […]
Distant Intimacy
Choosing “Safe” People “I was raised in a very “dysfunctional” family,” writes Lisa F. of Denver. “My parents divorced when I was very young. My father was absent for most of my childhood, except for brief visits once a year. My mother worked long hours to provide for us, and we moved in excess of […]
With Defiant Teenager You Must Set Firm Boundaries
Dear Neil: I need some help with how to aid the relationship with my live-in boyfriend and my 14 year-old daughter. She once looked up to him, but is now negative and defiant toward him. She has been labeled in the special education realm as being emotionally disturbed and having Oppositional Defiant Disorder. She and […]
Where to Find Single Available Men
Dear Neil: I am a an attractive, intelligent, vibrant single woman, 45 years old. But there seems to be a lack of available men that also fit this description, so me and a number of my female friends seek our soul mates in vain. Please encourage available men to come out of their nooks and […]
“Just Friends” With Boyfriend Hurts
Dear Neil: For six months I have been dating a man. At month two, we agreed we were both interested in pursuing a relationship with each other. However, for the past two months he’s been less physically affectionate. He now says he doesn’t know what he wants, but he still wants to be “friends.” I’ve […]
Rejections
Dear Neil: I left our house because my husband of 14 years did not want me there, and he was treating me very badly. He now treats me like an outcast, like I have done a great wrong, and has a great deal of anger toward me. In the past year, I discovered he was […]
Man Wants More From His Marriage
Dear Neil: I came from a broken family and was determined to make my marriage work at any cost. I’ve now been married 26 years, but we don’t have intimacy, and we never do anything together. I want the kids to have as close to a normal upbringing as I can provide, but I feel […]
Rebuilding Trust After a Betrayal
If you have been betrayed by someone you trusted—and are now having difficulty regaining trust—try these recommendations—taken from Jane Greer’s book How Could You Do This To Me? (Doubleday) The most difficult task in confronting a betrayer—and the step where most confrontations get derailed—is staying focused on your objective: the actions you want taken and the […]
Learning to Trust After Betrayal
Dear Neil: I have been married for twenty-two years. One year ago, I had a one month affair, which ended when my husband found out about it. Since then, our lives have turned upside down. I have spent the past year trying to make up for what I have done, but I have been unable […]
Stopping Verbal Abuse in Your Relationship
Recognizing verbal abuse is emotionally painful. It has to do with loss—the loss of illusion—and it is hurtful to the spirit. If you suffer from verbal abuse in your relationship, or suspect that you do, these are some steps you can take: Start setting limits.. Setting a limit is stating “I will not accept…” When […]