Dear Neil: I’ve had a good relationship for the past year with a 48-year-old man who has never been married. He needs a fair amount of time to himself. I also like time alone, but I find myself wishing we could have a more permanent relationship together. He has never expressed interest in marriage or […]
Note: This is the third of a three-part series. In an intimate relationship, the more hurt or angry you feel, the more likely you are to react to your partner as an enemy instead of as a teammate. The more habitually you talk to each other as if you’re enemies, the more hurtful, defensive, antagonistic […]
Note: This is the second of a three-part series Here are ways to reduce anger and improve your dialoging skills, in order to keep your intimate relationship intimate: Beware of the impulse to strike back. When your partner expresses hurt, frustration or irritation, especially about something you have done, your immediate impulse may be to […]
Note: This is the first of a three part series Dear Neil: I am in a 4 ½ year relationship with a woman I love and want to marry. But we get into such nasty, vicious and hurtful fights with each other that it makes me hesitate about the future. We get angry with each […]
Dear Neil: I really hurt my boyfriend of three years by being mean to him, treating him poorly, acting like I didn’t need or love him and generally not being responsive to what he said he wanted.I did this because he was so lacking in romance, and because I wanted to be taken care of […]
Dear Neil: My relationship with my husband has recently gone downhill. I have been depressed for a long time, and just haven’t had the energy to give to him; I haven’t been attentive, sexual, enthusiastic, happy or fun. I would like our relationship to improve, but I don’t know what to do. Can you help? […]
Dear Neil: My boyfriend of six and a half years broke up with me and married another woman. Before they married, she decided she didn’t want to work, so he supported her, bought her a car, etc. Do you think he forgot me that quickly after all the years we were together? Was he on […]
Happiness has been described as the difference between your expectations and what you get. The following is an exercise to explore your expectations of your relationship. Consider each question in light of what you want for the future. What are your expectations regarding: Sexual fidelity Do you expect to love each other always? Do you […]
Do you have a guarded heart? Do you have a wall around your heart that prohibits genuine intimacy, even with the people you love and feel closest to? Take this quiz to find out: Do you get angry a lot with your mate, even over small things? Do you tend to be mistrusting, only to […]
Dear Neil: I have had a hard time the last two years with anxiety. I lost my position at work because of my anxiety. I’m crying and yelling a lot, and I really get upset. When I get upset, my husband spanks me and sometimes throws me around. He says this is the only way […]