Dear Neil: I have been in a relationship with a great guy going on 10 years. I am financially set. Thanks to my late husband, we worked almost 40 years to be financially secure in our later years. The man I am dating is not financially stable and secure, although he is working, but I […]
Dear Neil: Most women these days want rich men, since they won’t date a man that makes much less money than they do. I fear I will never be accepted by a woman. Single But Not By Choice Dear Single: It is true that a man with a good paying stable job is in higher […]
Dear Neil: My boyfriend of 18 months continuously lies to me. He’s lied about going places, about sleeping with his ex-girlfriend, about smoking, about drinking and about spending verses saving money. In the beginning of our relationship I got hold of his social media, and discovered he was flirting with other girls and talking trash […]
Life-giving actions and efforts provide meaning to our lives. They further our long-term goals and/or relationships, they feel energizing and exciting, they’re regenerative or they’re simply fun to engage in. There’s several types of life-giving activities. First, there’s the literal: giving birth or saving someone’s life. Second, there’s the figurative: extremely engaged, helpful or generous […]
Dear Neil: The lady I am in a 7-year relationship with goes from a confident, opinionated, intelligent woman to an awkward, goofy, childlike girl once we’re about to have sex. She uses silly voices, won’t initiate sex or even offer sexual hints or innuendoes. But when sex actually begins, she becomes normal again, stops all […]
I’m sitting here on Labor Day thinking about the topic for next week’s column. A phone call from my wife temporarily requires my attention, but then I get back to my computer. A news flash from CNN pops up about the fire in LA, so I check it out (I have family in LA). Then […]
Answer the following questions True (T) or False (F): When we argue or fight, I don’t just talk, I also listen to my partner’s side of the story (T/F) When we argue, I will stay on the subject and I don’t tend to bring other issues up (T/F) In a fight or disagreement, I tend […]
Let’s say you were interested in deepening the closeness in your relationship. How would you go about doing that? It’s a good bet that whatever you did would involve 1) talking about personal feelings, dreams, fears, concerns and emotions, and 2) being more affectionate. Here is an exercise in creating or deepening the connection with […]
Let’s say a friend or family member owes you money, and has not paid it back. He appears to be avoiding get-togethers with you, and does not respond to your phone calls, texts or emails. When you finally catch up with him, he tells you he has lost his job and cannot pay next month’s […]
One obstacle to a great relationship with ourselves is that we tend to not dig deeply into our own hearts, our minds and our emotions, so that we are often left not knowing our inner selves very well. Periodically I attempt to offer a list of questions designed to help you gain awareness of your […]