Note: This is the first of a two-part series. What are the issues, conflicts or problems in your relationship? Take the following questionnaire to find out. Underline all that applies: We are becoming emotionally distant. We have difficulty just simply talking to each other; we are staying emotionally in touch with each other less; I […]
Getting Better Connected
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. If you would like to experiment with how to have a deeper connection with your intimate partner, try the following: Learning to regulate warm connected energy. Decide who will be Partner A and Partner B. Then both of you withdraw your energy and connection from each […]
Creating a Tighter Connection With Your Mate
Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Imagine a situation where you and your mate are sitting together and suddenly s/he says to you “Where have you gone? You’re not here.” You are not even aware that this has happened, but your partner is. Perhaps your partner said something that upset you, so […]
“Rules” For Women
Dear Neil: Since reading your column concerning rules for male partners that appeared in print awhile back, I would like to know if you could print a set of rules for female partners? HopefulJakarta, Indonesia Dear Hopeful: Actually the list of rules is almost the same for women and for men. But since I have […]
“Secrets” to Enjoying Life
NOTE: THIS IS THE SECOND OF A TWO-PART SERIES We all know that becoming older is supposed to be our time for harvesting, for reaping the rewards of our lives. But for many of us who have plowed and sown seed, we are not very good at the harvesting part. We have to get past […]
What Stops Us From Feeling Happy More of the Time?
Note: this is the first of a two-part series. When was the last time you can remember walking around with a smile on your face, a laugh in your belly, at lightness in your heart and a sense of exuberance at the sheer wonder of being alive? There is so much that seems to be […]
Why Are You Trying to Control Me?
Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Dear Neil: Why would my boyfriend feel the need to control me? I am faithful and have never strayed, but am still not trusted. I am asked to explain who I talk to, and what we talk about. I am criticized a lot, and my mistakes […]
Breaking A Power Struggle
Giving Your Partner What S/he Most Wants Eric and Candy, who have been together two years, are not getting along. Candy says she needs more emotional support and sensitivity. Eric wants a more willing and nurturing lover. Neither of them feels that their needs are being met by the other, and both of them are […]
A Man’s Work Helps to Define His Worth
But He Needs to be Careful to Not Overdo It Note: This is the third of a three-part series. More often than not, work defines a man’s worth to himself and to the world. To work means you’re a man, and frequently a man’s work is his pride. Work gives meaning to men’s lives. If […]
“Real Men” Can Be Hard To Relate To
EDITOR’S NOTE: THIS IS THE SECOND OF A THREE-PART SERIES The way men love and what they need in a relationship are different and often the opposite of what women need. Because of their conditioning, many men have learned to suppress and deny their vulnerability and personal needs in order to perform, compete, achieve and […]