Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Click here for part two Your relationship will not stay close and intimate without good communication. Most people think they communicate well, but good communication involves more than telling someone your thoughts, feelings and judgements. Good communication requires: Being an extremely good listener Hearing without arguing […]
If you are seriously contemplating divorce, here are some questions for you to explore beforehand: Is there something you’re wanting your spouse to do (or quit doing) in order for you to stay? If so, have you clearly articulated what it is? If you haven’t, it is vital you do so, because nobody is a […]
Dear Neil: You very kindly answered an email I sent you 6 months ago about avoiding attachment with men. You suggested I work on my self-esteem in therapy, which I have done. Hence my sense of utter confusion and despair because I feel terrified of closeness and being hurt, resulting in panic attacks. This only […]
Dear Neil: A couple of months ago you wrote about a retired woman who was financially supporting a man who could not support himself, but she described him as a great guy who was loving and kind. I am in a similar situation, but I feel financially taken advantaged of by the man I’m involved […]
Dear Neil: I strongly dislike how critical I am of others. I look for things I could label as annoyances—how someone eats, how they talk, how they dress, whether they are being lazy, etc. I know I need to chill out, but how do I do so? Critical in Sweden Dear Critical: We tend to […]
Here are 18 signs that it is time to consider ending a relationship: You consistently don’t feel heard. You are more attached to the way you wish your partner would be rather than the way your partner actually is. You are continuously looking for your partner to change, and if things remain the way they […]
Dear Neil: I am 63 and my husband of two and a half years is 65. He lost his job shortly before we married, and he has made very little effort in finding another one. Since we are not that far from retiring, I might have been okay with this. However, during this time he […]
Dear Neil: My husband and I have been married almost 38 years. He does not speak intimately or lovingly toward me during sex, and I’ve given up on getting him to tell me he loves me. He avoids conflict and gets reactive if I attempt to address issues that concern me. I’d love for us […]
Dear Neil: My boyfriend refuses to communicate when there is an issue in our relationship. He would rather I simply never talk about it. If I dared to make suggestions to him about how to better deal with conflicts or issues, he would blow up. I’ve tried to have calm conversations with him on what […]
Dear Neil: I met him when I was 17. We had a special bond and could talk about anything, and we were very emotionally and physically attracted to each other. But he was not the type to show emotions, and he said he didn’t want to get married or have kids, so I eventually left him […]