Dear Neil: I feel sad and empty. I was never loved as a child, and I do not have the bonds I should have had. The non-existence of love in my family and the coldness has just made me numb, and I feel numb all the time. I am also a cancer survivor. I fear […]
Dear Neil: I am a 6-year widow dating a 4-year widower. We both had long-term marriages. We have been dating for 18 months and have been talking about moving into a rental together. But his house is like a museum to his deceased wife; every corner and shelf is filled with her knickknacks and collections. […]
Think you know how your spouse or intimate partner feels about your sexual relationship? If so, have you checked out whether your assumptions are accurate? If you’re like most of us, you probably have not had a recent conversation with your partner about sex and how each of you are feeling about it. So here […]
Some things we do not have control over. Regarding longevity, we don’t control our genetics, our medical predispositions, our birth gender, ethnicity, and often our socioeconomic status. But there are a variety of factors we can control. The National Institute of Aging estimates that 70% of factors that determine how long we live are within […]
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. Click here for part one Love appears to require much less effort in the beginning of a relationship than it does as the relationship matures. Over time, it is so easy to become distant, disconnected or upset with each other—and that’s precisely what people frequently come […]
Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Click here for part two Your relationship will not stay close and intimate without good communication. Most people think they communicate well, but good communication involves more than telling someone your thoughts, feelings and judgements. Good communication requires: Being an extremely good listener Hearing without arguing […]
If you are seriously contemplating divorce, here are some questions for you to explore beforehand: Is there something you’re wanting your spouse to do (or quit doing) in order for you to stay? If so, have you clearly articulated what it is? If you haven’t, it is vital you do so, because nobody is a […]
Dear Neil: You very kindly answered an email I sent you 6 months ago about avoiding attachment with men. You suggested I work on my self-esteem in therapy, which I have done. Hence my sense of utter confusion and despair because I feel terrified of closeness and being hurt, resulting in panic attacks. This only […]
Dear Neil: A couple of months ago you wrote about a retired woman who was financially supporting a man who could not support himself, but she described him as a great guy who was loving and kind. I am in a similar situation, but I feel financially taken advantaged of by the man I’m involved […]
Dear Neil: I strongly dislike how critical I am of others. I look for things I could label as annoyances—how someone eats, how they talk, how they dress, whether they are being lazy, etc. I know I need to chill out, but how do I do so? Critical in Sweden Dear Critical: We tend to […]