Imagine the following scenario: Your spouse or partner retracts from you, becomes distant and wants to be left alone. This continues for a day, or perhaps a week. During this time, he or she acts abrasive, critical, withdrawn and angry, and when you offer to try to get your spouse out of this sour mood, […]
Dear Neil: I grew up with a father who was very critical and controlling, but I was never on the receiving end. I am now critical of my husband, and on a regular basis I point out flaws in his thinking, his behavior and in his speech. I regret everything I say, but I cannot […]
The beginning of a new year is a great time to look at the big picture of our lives. Where are you in the big picture of your life vs. where are you wanting to be? Are there any changes you are wanting (or needing) to make in order for the next year to be […]
Dear Neil: How can safety be built into a relationship? Do you have any suggestions on how to do so? I’m with a guy that is afraid to risk much because he’s afraid of getting hurt again. Don’t Know What to Do in Denver Dear Don’t Know: Connecting with someone, deepening a relationship, bonding and […]
Dear Neil: I need help. I find myself being frustrated and resentful toward my husband. I have been taking care of and providing for our family all of our married life (15 years), while he hops from one job to another, or doesn’t work at all. I am currently in debt, and I can’t just […]
Dear Neil: My advice to all these people who are in a relationship with someone who repeatedly runs away from a loving relationship: Move on, it’s only going to continue. If you are over the age of 30, you don’t have time to be playing love games. When somebody really loves you, they don’t run […]
Dear Neil: I was once in a relationship with a guy and it ended badly. Now, the moment guys start getting serious with me, I pull away and cut off my feelings for them. I’m in a romance right now where this guy and I recently decided to give a relationship between us a shot. […]
Dear Neil: I have known this man since middle school, he was my best friend. But in the last year, we fell in love. Things were well, until one day he said he needed space. He said he has never loved someone like he loves me, and that it scares the hell out of him. […]
Dear Neil: My 2 previous marriages ended with me being deceived by both of my ex’s. This made me create a wall to protect myself. I am now engaged to someone who has lied to me several times, and he once called his ex’s name out while we were intimate, so my wall is up […]
Dear Neil: My boyfriend of 4 years is famous for shutting down, and I am a yeller. (I communicate that way. That is how I express myself.) I yell because I am trying to get him to communicate with me without shutting down, because then we build up unresolved issues. How do I convince my […]