This is the second of a two-part series. Click here for part one Dear Neil: I have recently declined opportunities to spend time with my father, and I told him that it was because he has been acting very entitled, and is therefore not a very enjoyable person to be around. I wasn’t rude, but […]
This is the first of a two-part series. Click here for part two Dear Neil: I have an adult stepson who is 37. He and his wife have 3 kids (6, 5 and 3). Since I retired in 2012 they assumed that I would be their on-call babysitter. One day he brought his daughter over […]
Focus on the qualities you admire and appreciate in your partner, and speak them. There’s a reason you chose him or her. What did you see in the beginning of the relationship that was so appealing, and what do you see now in your spouse/partner that is attractive, positive and good? Make it a point […]
Interested in improving your relationship this Valentines? Take turns answering the following questions, and assume there will be multiple answers to every question. Make sure both of you get an equal chance to address each question. Take an interest in how your Valentine actually feels, and what he or she thinks would improve your relationship. […]
Resilience is about bouncing back from failure, defeat or disappointment, and learning how to make the most of your setbacks or losses. Here are 8 things emotionally resilient people do differently that the rest of us can learn from. If you wish to be more emotionally resilient, hold yourself accountable to: Rise to the challenge. […]
Imagine the following scenario: Your spouse or partner retracts from you, becomes distant and wants to be left alone. This continues for a day, or perhaps a week. During this time, he or she acts abrasive, critical, withdrawn and angry, and when you offer to try to get your spouse out of this sour mood, […]
Dear Neil: I grew up with a father who was very critical and controlling, but I was never on the receiving end. I am now critical of my husband, and on a regular basis I point out flaws in his thinking, his behavior and in his speech. I regret everything I say, but I cannot […]
The beginning of a new year is a great time to look at the big picture of our lives. Where are you in the big picture of your life vs. where are you wanting to be? Are there any changes you are wanting (or needing) to make in order for the next year to be […]
Dear Neil: How can safety be built into a relationship? Do you have any suggestions on how to do so? I’m with a guy that is afraid to risk much because he’s afraid of getting hurt again. Don’t Know What to Do in Denver Dear Don’t Know: Connecting with someone, deepening a relationship, bonding and […]
Dear Neil: I need help. I find myself being frustrated and resentful toward my husband. I have been taking care of and providing for our family all of our married life (15 years), while he hops from one job to another, or doesn’t work at all. I am currently in debt, and I can’t just […]