Think you know how your spouse or intimate partner feels about your sexual relationship? If so, have you checked out whether your assumptions are accurate?

If you’re like most of us, you probably have not had a recent conversation with your partner about sex and how each of you are feeling about it. So here is a list of 14 questions that every couple would be wise in talking about if they wish to improve lovemaking—or for you to check out how your partner feels about lovemaking with you. But a note before you begin: It is not fair to get angry or defensive if your lover says something that s/he doesn’t like or that s/he would like to change. You want to be the best at this you can be, don’t you? This is an attempt to improve your sexual relationship by openly and honestly talking about it.

Each of you take turns answering the following questions as throughly as you can:

1. Do I effectively communicate to you that I’m attracted to you? If not, what could I be doing better?
2. Is there anything I could do that would enhance your sexual attraction of me?
3. How can we best set the stage during the day in anticipation of lovemaking later on? What would assist you in feeling more in the mood ahead of time?
4. How could we improve foreplay? What turns you on before sex?
5. What is erotic during sex? What excites you during lovemaking?
6. What’a a turn off for you—before, during or after sex?
7. Is there any aspect of our sex life that you’re hurt or angry about? If so, what is it? And what would you like from me in order repair that hurt?
8. What would you like us to try sexually that we haven’t done, or haven’t done recently?
9. How comfortable are you with the frequency of our lovemaking?
10. How comfortable are you with the way we make love? Are there any changes you’d like to see us make?
11. How important is it to you that we both orgasm?
12. Are you comfortable with what we do afterwards? Is there any way we could improve how afterwards feels for you?
13. Overall, how satisfied are you with our sexual life?
14. Anything else you would like to say about our lovemaking? Anything else about the entire sexual experience you’d like us to talk about?

If answered honestly, these questions will tell you exactly how well you’ve been doing, and what you could do that would make the sexual experience even better for your partner. Who doesn’t want to be the best lover ever? Here is your chance.